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I know my body better than anyone!

“Why won’t they listen to me, I know my body better than anyone!”

My primary care doctor told me, “It just comes with age and being overweight.” However, I knew it was not normal to hurt as much as I did but no one would listen to me. Finally, after pushing and pushing I had test ran. They found out I was suffering from PsA, Osteoarthritis, and Acute Lower Lumbar Stenosis. However, after taking my meds I was still hurting in my feet and hands. Some days it was so bad I could not walk across the floor or hold a glass. My rheumatologist told me it was caused from being depressed, really? After a very lengthy debate with him, I had more test run. They found out I had nerve damage in my legs and I had carpal tunnel in my hands. This meant more meds. I work in a retirement facility as a hairdresser. I stand on my feet and use my hands all day long rolling or cutting hair. I listen to the residents complain about how bad they ache or how hard it is to grow old. I want to scream, “Really, let me tell you about how bad I hurt!” but I know I cannot do that. Therefore, I smile and say how bad I feel for them. Some days I feel like I am a 50-year-old trapped in a body that is trying to destroy itself. I fight to keep up with family, friends, and work, but some days I just cannot do it anymore. On those days, I push ahead, keep moving and tell myself that it is only one my client or one more whatever. I really wish my family, friends, and co-workers understood how much effort it took for me to keep pushing on. I will not give in to this. I will survive with the help of God above because he knows this body better than I do!

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