Psoriatic Arthritis Peaks and Valleys

Upon diagnosis, I had a very linear mindset: GET BETTER. That’s all I thought about. I had a mindset that I would take my medicine and get better. That was my goal and I really believed that if I focused enough, trusted my doctor, and just gave it a little time, I would get better in no time. I was on a straight path with the singular goal of getting “my life” back.

Little did I know, with psoriatic arthritis, even with a diagnosis, there is no such thing as a straight path. Like with many things in life, living with psoriatic arthritis is filled with peaks and valleys.

Psoriatic arthritis peaks and valleys

Everyone’s experience of life with PsA is as different as there are people in the world. From mild to extreme, joints, organs, or mental health, each person’s experience of life with PsA is different. My experience is no exception.

Personally, I love a straight line. Give me a goal and a step-by-step plan to get there and I’m your gal. Structure, routines, and a long to-do list are my jam. Which is why I was convinced that with the right plan, meds, and patience, that I would be back on track to being the best wife and mom I could be in no time. After all, that’s the least of what I owed myself and more importantly my family.

Sadly, this is not how life with PsA works

The path is long.

It is winding.

There are giant mountain peaks.

And valleys lower than you can image.

There is no end.

No destination.

There will be no getting better.

I know, it is a rather bleak perspective. But the reality is that sometimes living with psoriatic arthritis is rather bleak. There are days when those valleys feel like you will never climb out of them. Days when we feel alone and scared, frustrated and despondent. Sometimes in the valley we feel like the mountain will just cave in all around us and we won’t make it out alive. But I promise, there is reason to hope.

For every valley, there is a peak

There is a moment when you feel like you might have reached your goal. There are moments when we feel, well, better. While on the peak of the mountain, the views are spectacular. We glimpse moments of all that life could be without PsA. I’m the wife and mom my husband and kids deserve. For me, I’m knocking out my to-do list left and right. I’m the friend that has the energy to meet up for dinner. I’m all the things I was meant to be before PsA came crashing into my life.

Sure, I wish that life with PsA was a straight line. Heck, if you asked me today, I’d probably even trade all those mountain top views for a straight path in a heartbeat. I’d give almost anything to just follow my little straight line, stick with my routine, and get to my goal. But that simply isn’t what life was intended to be.

Life with psoriatic arthritis is messy.

It is complicated.

Often overwhelming.

Unimaginable and explainable.

But it is life, which is certainly better than the alternative.

So for today, I’ll try and forget about my perfectly straight line and embrace my psoriatic arthritis peaks and valleys.