What Motivates You to Move Despite Pain

It's really hard to imagine what another is going through, even when suffering the same disease, so I won't try to put myself in your shoes. There is so much to this disease that is still little understood. When I was first diagnosed back in 2010 or 2011, I had been suffering major pain in my hands, knees, back, and feet. I had enthesitis in my achilles that was like a monster chewing on the back of my ankles. The pain in the distal joints of my fingers was so bad that there were nights I spent seriously contemplating amputating some fingers with a kitchen knife. Fortunately, the first drug I was put on, Methotrexate, did an immense amount of good in quickly alleviating the worst of these symptoms. I did eventually have to be taken off of MTX due to concerning labs, and continued adverse events and infections. What eventually enabled me to really get a handle on things, though, was making some major lifestyle changes; I gave up alcohol completely, I stopped smoking, I stopped eating red meat and highly processed food, and I began to watch my weight. I took up running again, not just as a part of a fitness routine, but as my primary means of exercise. It provided a sense of emotional well being, to be out by myself on a trail somewhere. And, the pain that running brought on was MY pain, inflicted upon MY own body. As such, I owned that pain, and I learned to control it, and even to welcome it at times. This was empowering; I couldn't control the PsA pain, but gaining control over the pain from running was doable, and that actually helped me block out the PsA pain. As for what motivated me, it was simply the knowledge that not being active was going to kill me, because I am also a combat veteran with PTSD, and sitting around not doing anything was crushing my will to live. At no time during this ordeal, this disease, have I been pain free. But I have learned to live with the pain, and do things in spite of it. You are absolutely doing the right thing in trying to figure out your motivation to exercise more, as being mobile is essential in disease management. What many people find helpful is some sort of group exercise, whether yoga, walking in a group, or any kind of similar low impact exercise that can be done in a social setting. My advice to you is this; get set up with a both a pain management specialist, and a physical therapist. Pain management specialists can offer suggestions that you may not have yet considered, and physical therapists are great at helping you figure out ways to move and strengthen the muscles that support your joints. It sucks at first, but the long term outcome is great. I have run 27 half marathons since October, 2016, and my last one was my last, as the constant year round training finally began taking a toll on me (I'm 5😎. My best Half Marathon time was in 2019, 1:42:32 on a hilly course. I was training to get my time down to an hour and thirty eight minutes for the upcoming spring of 2020, but COVID brought everything to a screeching halt, and I just never seemed to get myself back to where I was pre-COVID. So now I am stepping down to 5K races. I still run 15-20 miles a week, do stretching and flexibility exercises, and resistance training. But on days that I'm in too much pain, or just too fatigued, I give myself permission to take a day or two off. I cannot, nor will not, promise you that you can follow in my shoes. But I can, in fact, say that I was at one time where you are now. Take an active part in managing your disease; listen to your doctors' advice; follow a rigorous plan of healthy eating; and if this applies to you, cease all alcohol and tobacco consumption. So, you want motivation? Here's your motivation; get moving or cease to be able to move. That's the hard truth and reality of this disease.