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Can We Find Validation in Life with Psoriatic Arthritis?

Every now and again, you get a nice run of days when you can almost “forget” that you have a chronic illness. You go about your life, like any other person in the world, and then BAM your pain sneaks up on you and bites you in the butt. I hate that.

Life with psoriatic arthritis

It’s like you get a tiny taste of what the whole “normal” world gets and then it gets taken away. Snatched away like a thief in the night. Does identifying this cycle of “normal” life and “chronic” life help us when we try to find validation in life with psoriatic arthritis?

Looking for validation when everything is so difficult

Why can’t my body just work properly? At least for a little tiny bit of time. I suppose that is a bit selfish of me. For sure. Because once you have a few days of good, then it is taken away is when I whine some more.

I want more! More good days! More actual functioning in life. Just, more normal. But so often it feels like the universe just keeps telling me NO!

Can we find a normal life with psoriatic arthritis?

It’s such an enviable position to be in, normal. Anymore, it seems like everyone is obsessed with being “different” or “unique.” Yes, I guess there is some appeal to it. But for those of us who have always been different, being normal just sounds like such a very nice position to be in.

Maybe if we were ALL just “normal” we wouldn’t have to search so hard to find validation of who we are. Maybe if we can name what we are, we can validate ourselves in an otherwise normal world.

Does having a name validate our psoriatic arthritis?

For some reason, we always feel the need to name ourselves. Spoonie, warrior, chargie, and the list goes on and on. Why do we do this? Isn’t it enough that we have a name, or in many cases, names for our disease(s)?

Why do we have to add all these extra bits into it? Does it help us to form some kind of group? Or a way to identify ourselves and our distinctions for others. What, we aren’t happy enough with abled and disabled terms? I don’t know.

Finding validation in our need to be understood and accepted

Perhaps it is because of our basic human need for understanding and acceptance. We need to feel that deep down, someone truly “gets” us. But does using these terms help others understand who we truly are? Is psoriatic arthritis all we are? I certainly don’t think so.

I for one, sure hope that my friends and family identify me as something more than my diseases.

Finding validation in what we experience with psoriatic arthritis

Maybe it is this deep-seated need to be understood that keeps us coming back to the same people who “get” us each time we need validation. After all, no one goes looking for validation from someone that doesn’t think as they do. No one goes searching for validation from someone that doesn’t have the same life experiences as they do.

Even with the most supportive and understanding team of family and friends, no one wants to feel like they are the only ones who experience life the way they do. No one wants to feel alone. It is a basic human need that we feel like we need to belong somewhere. If there are “others” like us, then it makes our unique suffering valid to others.

Validation is possible with psoriatic arthritis

When we finally find validation, we want to shout from the rooftops:

“See! See everyone! I’m not crazy! This isn’t just happening to me! It isn’t all in my head”

This. This is what goes through my head when I’m feeling “bad.” These crazy, deranged, and unhinged ramblings of a psoriatic arthritis patient might, if I’m lucky, be accepted and validated by the wider PsA community. Thus allowing me to feel like it truly isn’t all in my head.

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The Psoriatic-Arthritis.com team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

Comments

  • LisaMN
    2 weeks ago

    I feel the same way. Love your articles, I’m on a reading binge of them all right now.

  • Leanne Donaldson author
    2 weeks ago

    Hello LisaMN (@notfromhere) Thank you so much for your kind words, I’m glad they have resonated with you and you are able to benefit from the experiences and information I shared. Binge on my friend!
    You seem to have a very pragmatic approach to managing your PsA, finding unique ways to balance the reality of the disease with the working to stay positive as well. Trying not to drown in the reality of what our disease is can be difficult for sure.
    I am so happy that you have found our community and have so much great information and support to share with us.
    If you would be interested in submitting a story to our community I’d love to hear what you have to share. 🙂 You can use this link. https://psoriatic-arthritis.com/stories/ I look forward to connecting with you further as we journey and learn more about PsA together. -Leanne, Author

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