The Sweet Spot
Have you found your “sweet spot” yet? You know what I mean? That moment, fleeting as it may be, that you simply forget. You forget you have psoriatic arthritis. You forget the pain. And you forget the fatigue. I’m not talking about the brain fog forget. I mean the REAL forget. I’m talking about that small slice of time when you don’t feel like you are at war with your own body. That my friends, is the sweet spot.
Psoriatic arthritis does not define me
I love the sweet spot mostly for the obvious reasons. While in the sweet spot, I feel the most like myself. I make plans, accomplish tasks, and even dream about a future without psoriatic arthritis. It is in the sweet spot that I can groove to the imaginary music in my head. It feels like the sun is shining a little brighter and even the storm looming in the distance (and it’s associated pain) can’t dampen my mood. Here in the sweet spot, I’m the real me. I’m the me that exists independent of my psoriatic arthritis.
Checking off the list
In the sweet spot, I try and complete as many physical and mental tasks as possible. I plan my entire day around the sweet spot. If it must get done, now is the time. All of my medications are at peak effectiveness with the least amount of side effects. The brain fog is held at bay and I can actually construct effective and (somewhat) intelligent sentences.
Imagining the sweet, sweet future
The future is mine to imagine. I like to think about what remission would actually be like. I dream about cutting back on medications and making fewer doctor appointments. In my imaginary future, I have all the energy I need to exercise, clean my house, and even go shopping. Oh, what a wonderful world that would be.
My kids have even come to love the sweet spot. They can easily identify the times when I am much quicker to smile, say yes to crazy games, and even join in on the fun. While in the sweet spot, I am the mom that I always thought I would be. I am the mom my kids deserve. If I’m being honest, my kiddos probably search out (and enjoy) the sweet spot, even more than I do.
The magical time is fleeting
Sadly, it doesn’t come every day. I miss that magical time when everything actually feels pretty darn decent. Trying to recreate it doesn’t work, believe me, I’ve tried. Sometimes I even think that I might have imagined it. Maybe that, in those few hours of sleep, I might have dreamt it.
I have no tips to offer to make it last longer.
There are no books so you can read more about it.
Nor can you intentionally recreate it.
All you can do is hold on tight and enjoy the sweet spot for what it is. I suppose that is the lesson we all must learn about life here. Hold on tight and enjoy the ride, it will be over before you know it.
Do you struggle with insomnia?