You Are Worthwhile

Through my whole life, I have heard the phrase: "someone has it worse than you." It comes in various forms with it often having a tale of "stop complaining," or my worst is, "just be grateful." Man oh man this has the power to get me riled up pretty quickly. There is, in my most humble opinion, of course, no one phrase that is more damaging than that one. I think initially that it was thought out and used to try and motivate people who were in tough situations.

Downplaying your experience

Honestly, I cannot see how this ever made sense. When I was not quite as strong of a person as I am now, I would just respond mildly and walk away. Those days are long gone now, whenever I hear someone using it in conversation, I am no longer silent. I truly feel that it is deeply damaging to our mindset and totally uncalled for. Words that have been chewed and spat out so many times that no-one takes into consideration what the impact of this may be on a person. Particularly the impact it may have on you when you repeat it like a mantra.

Needing validation from others

In today’s increasingly aware world, you will often hear the term validation. Do you know what the word validation means? It has a few, but in this context: “recognition or affirmation that a person or their feelings or opinions are valid and worthwhile.” Worthwhile, what a beautiful word this is, we are all worthwhile. You are all worth the effort and certainly worth the time. We have an internal need to be seen and recognized by the ones we love and trust. It is really not asking that much. Our increasingly modern world often seems like it is disconnecting us more than it is connecting us.

"Someone has it worse than me"

Very recently a friend of mine, who is going through a serious bout of depression, said the same thing. He started with how he was feeling and then added, but you know someone has got it worse than me. I stopped him right there. Why do people do that? Why do we make ourselves less important than other people? So I hit back with my feelings on this subject. Needless to say that he was more than just a little surprised, I think because most people just agree with it. Alright so I am sure by now you are wondering what my thoughts on the subject are. So here we go, please remember that these are really just my thoughts and opinions. We all see things differently.

Being mindful about each person's journey

Telling someone that they should be grateful because it could be worse or because people have it worse, makes them feel like their battle, struggle, feeling, pain or whatever it is that is being discussed does not matter. It is patronizing and makes our situation feel insignificant. Our journeys are all different and just like we tell each other not to compare our achievements with one another. I feel the same should apply to the flip side of the coin too. Human beings are all so truly unique in-person and in situations and just because one person is going through something that is considered by society as worse than what another is going through- that does not mean that you should take away from the other one. It is like you are telling them that they should be thankful for their struggle.

We all deserve validation and support

We are all here doing the best we can with what we got. Now do not get me wrong, I am eternally grateful every single day that there are things that I do not have to deal with. I am just equally aware that the things I am going through deserve the same validation and care. We are glued together differently mentally and emotionally and we all deal with our journeys differently. While we walk this path we may meet along the way and if we do; I hope that we can encourage each other.