What I Wish My Roommates Knew About Arthritis

Four years of college and one year in the workforce has brought me together with no less than 17 roommates, most of whom were random students. I know first hand that it's not easy to live with other people. But it's even harder when you have psoriatic arthritis.

Maybe if they had been close friends, I would've considered talking more about my condition. But I always felt a little shy and embarrassed about sharing personal details with strangers. After many roommates, I realized there were three things I should have I told them before moving in together:

1. I may not look sick, but I am

On the outside, you would not know I am chronically ill. You might guess I have a bum knee, but that's about it. When I leave my room, I do my best to pretend nothing is wrong.

But my room paints a different picture. The bed is covered with all kinds of heating pads and support pillows. There's a sharps container on my dresser and prefilled syringes in my mini-fridge. I don't hesitate to wear my braces over my clothes or worry that my compression socks look too dorky. My pink cane hangs on the back of the door, ready for when I need it.

Please understand that while I look okay, most of the time I don't feel it. There may be days where I might not want to join in on activities. Heck, there will probably be days I hobble around in loose pajamas. I might even sit on the couch with a hot water bottle while I crochet. I'm warning you now, it might be like living with an old lady.

2. I'm not anti-social: I'm tired

I would love to hang out more, but I physically can't handle it. I feel bad constantly turning down invitations to watch movies or join parties because in a perfect world I would love to go. But after a long day of classes or work, all I can think about is putting on pajamas and crawling into bed.

Sometimes I'm not even tired, but I'm trying to conserve energy for chores and homework. It's hard to live with limited amounts of energy. My choices don't make me popular, they just get me through the day.

3. I'm not a germaphobe: I'm immunosuppressed

There are times where I can seem a little obsessive when it comes to cleanliness. I don't mean to get upset over dirty bathrooms or leftovers on the counter. But when you get sick easily, it's hard not to get upset.

The medicines that I use to fight arthritis suppress my immune system, making it easier for me to get sick. It also makes it harder for me to fight colds. And if I get really sick, I may even have to stop my arthritis treatment for a while. So please understand why I might get upset over a mess. And do your part to keep things clean: I promise to do mine.

While it's not easy to live with roommates, I also know it's not easy to live with someone who is chronically ill either. But with good communication, boundaries, and mutual respect, you can make any living situation work.