Coming to Terms

I am 32 years old and was diagnosed 2 years ago. It began with pain in my feet that got worse as the weeks went on. I also had a small bit of psoriasis on my scalp. The doctors were superb and referred me to rheumatology straight away. I also got my diagnosis within 6 months. As time has gone on my symptoms seem to be getting worse. I am struggling with chest infections, ear, sinus, etc. due to the immunosuppressant drugs I’m on. So I get antibiotics then due to the imbalance of bacteria I get thrush that is resistant to the treatment! I’m changing meds to see if it will help but getting flare ups too. I tend to find with the flare ups I can have it in 1 joint 1 day then it seems to move around. I get shooting pains down my arms as well has swollen hands feet, elbows, knees, etc. I’ve had it in my jaws too. I tested anti CCP positive but not really sure what that means. I also have hard boney lumps in my fingers that have developed over the past year. I find I can get through the week at work but by the time Saturday comes I’m exhausted. I’ve also withdrawn from people too. I haven’t really come to terms with it as I still kid myself that it’s going to ‘get sorted’ and I’m fine. But I’m not! My psoriasis is not bad though. I don’t think anyone else really understands what it’s like because know one can really see what’s going on, it’s a bit lonely really. It scares me when I think of the future.

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