Getting Back to My Sense of Well-Being

By Vickie Wilkerson

2 min read

I keep saying that each year cannot get worse than the year before. Well, last year definitely proved me wrong on that saying. It was by far one of the most horrible years I have had in my lifetime.

So far, this year hasn’t faired much better. The funny thing is I didn’t even say that it couldn’t be worse because I didn’t see much promise in it in the first place.

If you have been following my articles, you know I have been dealing with some pretty heavy stuff. I try to stay upbeat and try to encourage others, but let’s be truthful. Sometimes you have to encourage yourself.

Living with psoriatic arthritis is so hard. When you have outside factors contributing to the struggles of psoriatic arthritis, it makes it so much more difficult.

Struggles and chronic illness

First and foremost, I would say my biggest struggle is me. After dealing with a major loss in my life, there has been nothing but turmoil.

I had turmoil within myself because that person was a major support system for me, and then turmoil from family members who had nothing but their own best interests in mind. I try to encourage everyone. This not only includes family, but it also includes those that I know are struggling within the psoriasis and psoriatic arthritis communities.

While most days that is not a problem, not every day can be rainbows and unicorns, especially when you live with a chronic disease. Honestly, there have been those I should have walked away from, but I have not.

Featured Forum

View all responses

Coping and supporting others

Because I have not cut those that do not have my best interest at heart, it has been detrimental to my own health. I have stressed about things outside of my control.

Before last year, I tried hard to live my life in a way that limited stress because I knew that if I didn’t, I would pay the price for it.

I got away from that, and true to form, I am paying the price for it. My psoriatic arthritis is flaring.

I am sitting here in so much pain right now. It is my penalty for forgetting that stress is my biggest trigger, and I am better when I limit myself from those stressors within my control.

Prioritizing health

It is not selfish if we do what we must do to live the best life. For me, that means making the hard choice to cut those out of my life who I know are not there for me.

That may sound harsh, but what is not harsh is the pain that is there because I allowed them to create strife. I cannot continue to be in the kind of pain I am experiencing right now.

I made the choice once before to put my health first time to go back there. It has even got me thinking that maybe I need to speak to professionals so that I shed some of the baggage that has come along with it all.

We all need to do what it is that brings our life some peace so that on the hard days of living with psoriatic arthritis, we have the strength to keep moving forward.

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The Psoriatic-Arthritis.com team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

Join the conversation

Please read our rules before commenting.

Amy68 Member
I'm so sorry you've been struggling, Vickie, and for your loss. Sometimes it feels like things are just piling up, which makes regular daily struggles so much harder to deal with, in addition to elevating our stress levels. And I know what you mean about this year! Settling into a new community, periodic family issues, a broken ankle, then flooding caused by Hurricane Helene. Now, fighting with insurance, the wait for a claim decision, constant repair work and cleaning, and the knowledge that "normal" is still many months away. Ugh. When I feel myself getting overwhelmed, I try to remind myself to step back and change my focus for a while. Changing focus might mean going in another room, playing with my dog, taking a nap, finding a different project to work on, calling a friend to chat, taking a short walk, or putting on some music to lift my spirits. Often just distracting myself or 15 - 20 minutes is enough to adjust my outlook and reduce the stress I was feeling in that moment. It couldn't hurt at all to find a professional to talk to - without guilt. You're dealing with a lot and anyone would feel the strain of it. I also wouldn't allow myself to feel guilty for stepping away from those who are causing issues in your life. I've had to do that on a couple occasions and just the knowledge that I no longer have to deal with that stress was a huge relief. You can always try to rebuild those relationships down the road (when life isn't so overwhelming) if necessary. I hope things settle down for you soon. Hugs!
1. Amy68 Member
 <inline-mention username="christine.laaksonen" user-id="8414175"/> we empathize with each other when often others can't. I hope it helps Vicki - my heart goes out to her. Skyrizi seems to have eased a lot of my symptoms (started a year ago August), so day to day life is physically easier. Not normal, mind you, but easier. I don't know how I'd have gotten through the hurricane and continuing clean-up without it. The hardest part has been what goes through my head. I did disaster relief work for years and now that my own community has been so badly hit, I'm unable to do what I once could. I feel useless by comparison but the physical strength, energy, and endurance just isn't there anymore. I've tried to compensate by cooking for everyone, donating supplies, filling up fuel cans for generators, and other small ways, but it's upsetting to have a disaster relief crew come in to do work on my property that I once would have done myself, or see my neighbors slaving away and not be able to do much to help. I try not to focus on those thoughts though, and instead focus on gratitude - I'm able to live in my house where many are not, I have supportive and caring friends and neighbors and we've grown closer through this, and I AM able to do more than I could before Skyrizi. All pluses. How are things with you?
2. christine.laaksonen Community Admin
 <inline-mention username="Amy68" user-id="6765940"/> oh my goodness, that really is a lot to be managing. While I'm so so glad to hear that the Skyrizi is making such a difference for you, the frustration of not being able to do as much certainly is understandable. I can only imagine the challenges in seeing your community deal with the aftermath of Hurricane Helene and not being able to do as much as you used to be able to. That being said, it sounds like you've really been doing a lot, as much as you're able, and that means something too. Please try to be gentle with yourself. It is a beautiful thing for people to be able to help one another, and I love that you're trying to focus on the gratitude. Sending you gentle hugs! -- Warmly, Christine (Team Member)
shirley-saland Member
anyone else have severe lower back pain and it goes down one side of your body hip, knee, and thighs and leg pain. hurts so bad what have your done to help this?
1. christine.laaksonen Community Admin
 <inline-mention username="shirley-saland" user-id="3308341"/>, oh dear, I can hear how much pain you've been in with that radiating back pain! I hope some of our community members here can share their experiences with you. Back pain can be so challenging (and at times debilitating), but you aren't alone. One of our advocates wrote an article about her back pain along with some of her tips, <a href='https://psoriatic-arthritis.com/living/manage-lower-back-pain' target='_blank'>https://psoriatic-arthritis.com/living/manage-lower-back-pain</a> And another advocate wrote an article with some of her tips in this article, <a href='https://psoriatic-arthritis.com/living/back-pain-tips' target='_blank'>https://psoriatic-arthritis.com/living/back-pain-tips</a>. Have you had a chance to speak with your doctor about your pain and how it's radiating? If not, I would encourage you to do so as your doctor should be able to help address any new or worsening symptoms (and determine if it's PsA related or something else causing the symptoms). Please, if you're comfortable, keep us posted with how you're doing. I do hope that you can get some more helpful feedback here and relief! Sending you gentle hugs. -- Warmly, Christine (Team Member)