Shutting Down Unsolicited Advice About My Psoriatic Arthritis

By Cynthia Covert

4 min read

Living with psoriatic arthritis is like navigating an obstacle course that never ends. Between the constant pain and the never-ending search for relief, there's one thing I didn't sign up for: unsolicited advice.

Everyone seems to have an opinion on how I can "cure" my condition, and while some suggestions come from a place of genuine concern, others are downright laughable. So, in the spirit of humor, sarcasm, and a bit of frustration, let's dive into some of the best responses to those well-meaning but misguided pieces of advice.

Responding to unsolicited advice on psoriatic arthritis with humor and sarcasm

Yoga will cure you, apparently

Ah, yoga. Its the magical cure-all that seems to work for everyone’s grandma. Whenever someone tells me, "You should try yoga; it helps my grandma with her arthritis," I can't help but smile and think about the endless possibilities.

Here are a few replies I've perfected:

"Oh, I see! So, if I can balance on one foot like a flamingo, my arthritis will magically disappear? I'll start practicing in the bird sanctuary."
"Your grandma must be super flexible. Maybe I should ask her to teach me the secret arthritis-banishing pose."
"Yoga? Do you mean the ancient practice of twisting myself into a pretzel? I might as well add mustard and call it a day."

In reality, while yoga can be beneficial for flexibility and stress relief, it's not a universal cure for psoriatic arthritis. My joints have their own agenda, and sometimes, a gentle stretch is all they can handle. So, while I might dabble in a bit of yoga, don’t expect me to become a yogi anytime soon.

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The mystical powers of diet

Next is the ever-popular dietary advice. "Well, maybe if you didn't eat this or that, you wouldn't hurt so bad." Because, of course, my immune system is directly linked to my love for pizza. If only life were that simple!

Here's how I handle these gems:

"Ah, yes, I forgot the cure for psoriatic arthritis is hidden in my pantry. Let me just summon my inner chef and whip up some magic."
"You're right! Next time I’m at the grocery store, I’ll look for the ‘pain-free’ aisle."
"If only my taste buds could negotiate with my immune system, I’d be set."

In reality, managing psoriatic arthritis isn't as straightforward as cutting out gluten or dairy. While a healthy diet can certainly help manage symptoms, it's not a one-size-fits-all solution.

Each body is different, and what works for one person might not work for another. So, while I appreciate the concern, my dietary choices are a bit more complex than simply avoiding a slice of pizza.

Essential oils to the rescue

And who could forget the miracle of essential oils? "Essential oils healed my mom," they say as if I haven't tried every lavender-scented potion out there.

My responses usually go something like this:

"Essential oils? Perfect! I'll just marinate myself in lavender and eucalyptus. If nothing else, I'll smell fantastic."
"Maybe if I diffuse them while chanting, the arthritis fairy will finally grant me a wish."
"Essential oils, you say? Does this mean I can replace my doctor with a diffuser?"

The truth is, while essential oils can offer some relief and comfort, they're not a replacement for medical treatment. My approach to managing psoriatic arthritis involves a combination of medication, lifestyle changes, and, yes, sometimes aromatherapy. But expecting essential oils to cure my condition is a bit of a stretch.

Think positive thoughts

Oh, the power of positive thinking. "Have you tried just thinking positive thoughts?" Yes, because clearly, my immune system just needs a pep talk.

Here’s my take:

"Oh, positive thoughts! Of course. I’ll think about unicorns and rainbows and watch my pain evaporate like morning dew."
"Sure, let me just rewire my brain to emit sunshine and butterflies."
"I’ll add ‘thinking happy thoughts’ to my daily regimen right after 'miracle stretches' and 'anti-inflammatory spells.'"

While maintaining a positive outlook can certainly help in managing chronic illness, it's not a cure. Positive thinking can be a great tool for coping, but it doesn't replace the need for comprehensive medical care. So, while keeping my spirits up, I’ll also follow my doctor’s advice.

The Exercise Enthusiasts

Last but not least, the exercise enthusiasts. "If you just exercised more, you wouldn't have these problems." Because obviously, my inflamed joints are craving a vigorous workout.

I usually counter with the following:

"Exercise, you say? I'll just run a marathon tomorrow and expect to wake up arthritis-free. Sounds legit."
"You're absolutely right. My joints are clearly craving a good sprint."
"Of course, because nothing soothes inflamed joints like a vigorous workout. Thanks for the tip!"

In reality, exercise is an essential part of managing psoriatic arthritis, but it has to be the right kind of exercise. Low-impact activities like swimming and walking are more my speed. So, while I appreciate the suggestion, I’ll stick to what my body can handle.

The Reality of Psoriatic Arthritis

Living with psoriatic arthritis means navigating a world of well-intentioned but often misguided advice. While I appreciate that people care enough to offer their thoughts, it's essential to remember that every individual's experience with chronic illness is unique. What works for one person may not work for another, and sometimes, all we need is a little understanding and a lot less unsolicited advice.

So, the next time someone suggests a miracle cure for my psoriatic arthritis, I'll be ready with a smile, a witty comeback, and the knowledge that I'm managing my condition in the best way I know how. Because, at the end of the day, the only expert on my health is me.

And if all else fails, at least I can laugh about it. After all, laughter might not cure psoriatic arthritis, but it sure makes the journey a little more bearable.

Do you ever receive unsolicited advice? What do you say? Share in the comments.

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The Psoriatic-Arthritis.com team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

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Rob L Member
Oh ya. Someone close to me told me just keep saying to yourself "I feel good!" and after a while you'll feel good." 💃
1. christine.laaksonen Community Admin
 <inline-mention username="Rob L" user-id="6709042"/> oh my goodness, this is one of the more ridiculous pieces of advice I've heard! Thinking oneself out of physical pain certainly sounds like a magic trick. Can I ask what your response was? -- Warmly, Christine (Team Member)
2. Cynthia Covert Contributor
 <inline-mention username="christine.laaksonen" user-id="8414175"/> <inline-mention username="Rob L" user-id="6709042"/> I would love to hear your response too! People who do not live with our pain just don't get it. Hope you have a great day thinking yourself well.... just kidding, but I do hope you have a happy day.
robert Member
I didn't say anything. I hardly ever talk about it to those close to me. (We're talking family here.) I'm certainly not seeking sympathy, but if asked "how are you doing?" I tell them where I'm at for that day. I've learned to expect no understanding. I think maybe on their end there's some element of denial just as there was for me early on. I don't know... I have my routine and regimen and I keep going. I'm doing quite well. I'm used to being in pain. The fatigue aspect is most disappointing, having to spend more time resting and recovering from my activities than I'd like. I'm coming to terms with my limitations. I feel alone with it. That's ok. It could be worse. I'm grateful that I get to carry on.. 
1. christine.laaksonen Community Admin
 <inline-mention username="robert" user-id="3308334"/> we hear you. I know a lot of our community members can relate to not talking to people (even those close to them) about their PsA and how they're doing, especially when others just really can't understand. I'm glad to hear that you're doing so well! But yes, the fatigue really can be a difficult symptom to manage. I know so many people here can relate finding it the most disappointment with having to rest and recover more than they used to, or than they'd like. You're definitely not alone. In fact, I wanted to share this article with you from one of our advocates about the fatigue, https://psoriatic-arthritis.com/living/frustrated-with-fatigue. Thanks so much for being a part of our community here. Wishing you a gentle evening! -- Warmly, Christine (Team Member)
ralphcook Member
"While a healthy diet can certainly help manage symptoms, it's not a one-size-fits-all solution." And "Each body is different, and what works for one person might not work for another." "So, while I appreciate the concern, my dietary choices are a bit more complex than simply avoiding a slice of pizza." Sadly, this is the excuse that 95% of sufferers of many long-term health conditions erect to avoid coming to terms with the fact that we are what we eat and for people with inherited genetic dysfunctions of the immune system, i.e. PsA sufferers like you and me, this old adage is perfectly apt. Many PsA sufferers simply refuse to listen to the science, perhaps because they do not want to admit they do not understand what the science is telling us, why? Because the science is telling us we are simply eating the wrong food. It is true that for some people (not very many), eating a lot of tomatoes will exacerbate the PsA symptoms but the fact is that over 90% of the people who take my advice (couched in the caveat that it is based on my experience alone, I am not a medical scientist but I have read most of the scientific literature about this topic), declare an improvement in their condition over the long term i.e. at least a year and longer if you are older than middle aged. My advice is simple but many people raised as children on a typical western diet of meat, eggs and dairy with veg as a "side" just cannot imagine life without those animal products, especially if they cannot see benefits the very next day. Furthermore, several of my contacts, have, the moment their symptoms abated, immediately returned to their old diet and within weeks their bodies are back to the way they were a year earlier and I'm told my "cure" doesn't work. They don't listen long enough for me to repeat for the umpteenth time that my advice is not offering a "cure", that there is no cure, that they were born with a dysfunctional immune system and they will die with a dysfunctional immune. My advice merely serves to reduce through diet the inflammatory response of your dysfunctional immune system and it is based on the simple fact that humans were NOT evolved to eat meat and dairy - yes that's what I am saying - we did NOT evolve as eaters of eat animal products. The human species is naturally equipped by millions of years of evolution to be almost (probably not entirely, as our ancestors may have eaten bugs' the occasional in season birds' or reptile eggs and possibly like some chimpanzees do today they may have eaten the occasional baby rabbit or hyrax): otherwise they were at least 95% herbivorous, foliverous and frugivourous, and generally not zoophageous. Science has demonstrated the inflammatory nature of animal foods and with a dysfunctional immune system you need to reduce inflammation as much as possible. I am living proof of this truism. I became a vegan in 1979 and received a diagnosis of PsA in 1995 soon after I fell victim to some strange virus. After a fewe months I was back to my usual robust health - due no small amount to my diet which was motivated by my opposition to animal exploitation, I had no inkling at the time that there was any link to my health - indeed I believed my doctors who told me I would not live a long life on a vegan diet, a prediction I now know to have been based on ignorance, not science. In 2003 I went down with another strange virus that I now know was SARS-COV1 (the precurssor of Covid 19. For a year I experienced a variety of PsA symptoms that I'd not been aware of before but they gradually disappeared. In 2012 I experienced a short-lived infection of MERS (another coronavirus from the Middle East) and the following year I had a heart attack and a couple of moths later I almost died of a aortic dissection. The surgeon who saved my life told me that if I had been a typical 54 year old British person, whose arteries are full of cholesterol, I would have died. Gradually, thereafter I was improving but my heart had been permanently damaged and that could not be repaired. Then in March 2020 I contracted Covid 19 and between then and 2023 I experienced three more infections of Covid. My immune system simply went haywire and I have spent a toal of over 6 months in hospital between 2021 an 2023. I had been advised to sort out my affairs three times in that period and I did but despite being disabled I'm still alive partly because my diet has protected me from the worst excesses of my immune system, partly because my bodily systems were in better shaape due to my diet and partly because I have not been riddled with low level inflammation caused by an unnatural human diet over the last 46 years.
1. Vickie Wilkerson Moderator & Contributor
 <inline-mention username="ralphcook" user-id="3306790"/> wow that is truly a lot you have had to go through. I will say that when it comes to people you can only suggest any diet change. It has to be something that they are willing to do. Most everyone including myself at times simply want a cure. The problem is you and I know that there is not a cure currently. I wish you continued health. Vickie, Team Member