Psoriatic Arthritis Changes You
Remember hearing for the first time that you had PsA? Remember the feelings that you had as you searched the internet and read stories about the horrors that this disease can do to people? I do. I remember reading about how a lot of people with PsA were on disability, or it took them 45 minutes to get out of bed in the morning. I remember feeling like the life I knew was over. Sitting watching my son's swim at their lessons and thinking, "Will I ever sit and watch them swim and not feel the discomfort and pain I feel right now?" I remember wondering how long I had before I had to stop working. Then denial, it must be something else, the doctor is wrong.
Your new normal
After months of denial and anger and confusion, suddenly you are in a new normal. You don't feel the loss of your old life like you once did. You are happy for the good days that you have, and the days that aren't so good remind you of how good the good days actually are. You don't take the good days and waste them anymore because you are keenly aware of how limited these good days may be. If you're lucky you have more good days then bad. You think positive and remember how many people are living with PsA and who are managing day by day and hour by hour.
You have a heightened sense of your body now and notice every little ache and pain that comes your way. You notice immediately when you start to get tired now, and you listen to your body and rest at its will, because if you don't you know you will pay for it later. Your body now tells you when the weather is changing or rain is coming. Sudden dips in temperature or spikes in humidity are felt throughout your body and you suddenly find yourself predicting weather patterns.
Your life changed with this diagnosis, little by little the old you disappeared. You now live a new life, with new challenges and obstacles to face each day. You don't know what your life will be like in six months or a year, so you take it day by day because that's all you really have. That's all any of us really have.
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