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How to Make Sure Your Partner Gets a Good Night’s Sleep, Even When You Can’t

Whether it be insomnia or painsomnia (inability to sleep due to high levels of pain), lack of sleep is never a good thing. For those of with psoriatic arthritis, not reaching a restorative level of sleep can lead to increased pain, inability to concentrate, feeling lethargic, and more.

While difficult, those of us who no longer work outside the home have it a little easier as we can adjust to the odd hours our bodies keep. When you consider that most of us probably rely on our partner’s income to survive, making sure they get a good night’s sleep is extremely important.

Here are a few suggestions to help your partner get the sleep they need.

Limit distractions

If your partner is a light sleeper, you want to make sure that you aren’t doing things that will prevent them from falling and staying asleep. If you need the light on to read, leave the room. Do the same if watching television is what gets you through a pain filled night. If the light from a screened device doesn’t bother them, be sure to wear headphones or use closed captioning.

When I am up all night, I find my mind goes into overdrive and I think of all kinds of things to share with my spouse. Pain brain often takes that thought and throws it away soon after I remember it. In the past, I would wake my husband to make sure I didn’t forget to tell him. To stop interrupting his sleep, but to make sure I relayed any information that popped into my head, I began jotting my thoughts down in a notebook. If it is something that I need him to know as soon as he wakes up, but I am not sure if I will be awake at the same time, I text it to him.


When severely flaring, I toss and turn all night long hoping to find a comfortable position. All that movement is guaranteed to keep my husband awake. Instead of interrupting his sleep, I choose to leave the room. Things you can do if this happens to you is to yourself comfy on the couch, set up an air mattress, or move into the guest room for the night. If you must remain in your bed, have your spouse move into another room. Just be sure they have something comfier than the sofa to sleep on. A sleeper sofa is perfect for those short on space.

Attitude adjustment

The most important thing to remember is that your inability to sleep isn’t your partner’s fault. Making it difficult for our partner to sleep doesn’t give them a glimpse into our world; it just makes life harder for both of us. The last thing we want is to jeopardize their job or to suffer health problems from lack of sleep. Making sure they get enough rest also makes them more able and willing to care for us when we need extra attention.

What do you do to ensure that your partner is getting enough sleep?

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.


    4 months ago

    We sleep in separate rooms. Life sucks

  • Jake moderator
    2 months ago

    @dillon Ugh – I hear you. Separating during the night to alleviate pain/lack of sleep sounds tough. As always, feel free to come and share on the site whenever you’d like. Members here truly get the daily trials that come with PsA. We’re here for you. -Jake, Team

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