The Mental Effect of Missing Events Because of PsA

When I write, I love sharing stories about real-life experiences when it comes to psoriatic arthritis. Well, I might say love is a strong word. It certainly is a spectrum between love and hate.

Faced with different events

For instance, I wrote an article about pushing through the pain when my granddaughter was born. That was a case of love because I was there in the room the minute she was born. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for my two grandchildren. They are literally my heart.

However, in this journey of psoriatic arthritis, there have been plenty of events that I have had to miss out on. Some of those events are easier to mentally handle than others. Let me line out a few of these events for you so that you are better able to understand.

Birthday and anniversary parties

In the years that I have been living with psoriatic arthritis, one thing I've learned to do and encourage others to do is to listen to your body. If your body is in pain, then rest it.

When I say birthday and anniversary parties, I am strictly talking about ones with other adults. An adult should understand if you are not feeling well. I put emphasis on should because well, we are all aware that people sometimes do not accept what they cannot see.

It's just about validating your own feelings and having some self-compassion. This is a decision you have to make for your health and that's that. Don't waste your time on guilt. Unless it is someone who is very special in your life, then chances are it is not really going to affect you mentally if you do not go.

Weddings and other special events

Now, missing bigger life events could be tough mentally to deal with. I will give you an example of such an event that completely devastated me. Fairly early on into my psoriatic arthritis journey, I was invited to a wedding of someone very special to me.

Not yet being treated for the PsA, I was in a world of pain. When the wedding day came around I was hardly able to walk. It was a long drive to even get where the event was happening.

Those issues were enough to cause me to put a call into that person the morning of the wedding and apologize that I just could not show up. Even though that person said they understood my heart was broken into a million pieces. It's okay to be sad, it's validating even. Let us feel our feelings - it is a part of the painful PsA journey.

Surviving beyond these events

Psoriatic Arthritis is tough. It can bring you mentally and physically to your knees. Yes, there are bad days but there will also be good ones as well. There will even be simply okay ones.

Be kind to yourself. Remember after every rain somewhere, there is a rainbow. If you find yourself mentally struggling, please remember you are not alone. We are here as a community of psoriatics to help support you through it.

We all need each other and I promise there will be more life and more events you will have to navigate through as your journey continues.