It’s All in the Blood: Receiving Support From My Sister

As I was growing up, I always wondered whether my siblings would get psoriasis or psoriatic arthritis (PsA). I figured that since we were sisters they might get either condition too. I frequently found myself looking at their faces, arms, and legs but to no avail; no psoriasis, no anything. For me, the million dollar question was - how could this be? We had the same mother and father, and I assumed there would be a stronger genetic component. Years later, I did find out that my sister and I actually had something in common. We both shared the fact that we were diagnosed with autoimmune diseases - I have psoriatic arthritis and she has rheumatoid arthritis (RA).

Coping skills my sister and I share

When we were younger and I was covered in psoriasis disease from head to toe, other kids would point and make fun of me. My sister would hug me and say she loved me. We have found the time in later years to talk with family and friends together about our condition and what we needed from them. We also found out together that we both needed positive people in our lives to help us feel good about ourselves and to be honest with others about our physical and emotional health. My sister has called me every single day for over 30 years to ask me how I’m doing and to make sure I’m not over doing it. As I’ve gotten older, she actually calls me more. She lets me know that I need to simplify tasks and prioritize commitments. One thing she said to me over 20 years ago was to not judge myself, and I don’t.

We have frequent conversations about our pain. It affects us differently. One of the things we know is that inflammation occurs with either condition. I have pain in my legs, back, arms. She may have pain in different parts of the body. We share stories with one another about how we cope. It helps to get each other’s coping skills. We learn from one another. It’s kind of nice when one sister may be having a challenging day and can get some comfort from them. Sometimes our views are different; however, it’s great to have a sister dialogue about our autoimmune disease.

Differences in our autoimmune diseases

Some people think that arthritis is one single condition, but there's a number of different types of arthritis, and each type is a result of different factors. Both PsA and RA can be very painful. That said, they are still different conditions and should be treated as such. Having PsA results in pain, stiffness, and swelling in your joints. RA is an autoimmune condition that causes pain and inflammation in a number of joints, including hands and wrists, ankles and feet, and even elbows.

We have learned that just because we both have autoimmune diseases, it doesn’t mean they are the same. We don’t share the same medications. We have come to the conclusion that autoimmune diseases help us to be better people, better sisters, better mothers, and just overall better. We both agree that our disease is not who we are. For myself, I’m glad we grew up with morals that we still apply to our lives today. Complaining never does any good, make the best of what you have, be grateful because there’s someone always worse than you, and treat people the way you want to be treated.

Advantages of having a family member with an autoimmune condition

It’s all in the family. Traveling together has been a bonus for both of us. We are privileged to go to conferences that are formative. It’s been a journey for me and we continue to be positive in our health and strength.

There are more advantages than disadvantages to having a sibling that also has an autoimmune disease. One of the advantages is that you both understand pain. You both know what it is to have to take medication and get treatment for your arthritis. If you call your sibling and they share that they aren't having a good day, you can tell them that you truly understand. We realize that we can share our story and be a big support for others by inspiring them with our story. We know that there are struggles in our day to day, but our upbringing helps us. We are one year apart in age; we share the same birth month. It doesn’t surprise me that we both share an autoimmune disease. It has been to our advantage, and I believe it has many more pros compared to cons.

Whether you and your sibling share the same autoimmune disease with you or any type of illness, look on the bright side. You will always have something to talk about because it’s all in the family.