There’s Nothing Fun About Canceling Plans Because of a Flare

For some strange reason, there are quite a few people who think that those of us who cancel plans due to our chronic illnesses are at home popping bonbons into our mouths. Okay, maybe sometimes we have the strength to comfort ourselves with a tasty treat, but for the most part we aren’t doing anything that anyone would feel envious of.

Behind the scenes

When I choose to stay behind because of a psoriatic arthritis or fibromyalgia flare it is because I am in too much pain to endure whatever I had planned to do. I am not having a pajama party with my pets. No frilly or fancy nightgowns for me, heck I am lucky if my pajama top and bottoms match! Forget a cute messy bun; on severe flare days my hair is usually a matted mess. While I may have the opportunity to catch up on my favorite shows or watch something that I haven’t had time to, I usually fall asleep during them and have to watch them again at a later date.

Party pooper

While it would be nice to have someone to hang out with me during some flares, most of the time it would be a waste of time for both of us. I am not the life of the party when flaring. High pain levels usually decrease my ability to hold a conversation or to stay awake. Extreme pain causes me to whine, complain, moan, groan, and cry.

Emotional beating

Canceling plans does more than hurt me physically; it also hits me in the heart. I feel guilty when I have to cancel. I don’t want to disappoint anyone or flake out on my responsibilities. I hate that I can’t push through every pain or that there wasn’t something I could do to avoid flaring. Trust me, however terribly someone feels about my cancelling, I feel even worse.

If somebody insinuates that you are lucky to have an excuse to stay home, remind them that there is nothing fun, fancy, or festive about a chronic flare!