A Blissful Night's Sleep

I roll over and the bright red lights on my alarm clock look mockingly back. Yes, it’s 2 am. Yes, I’m still awake. Again. Every muscle and joint in my body ache with fatigue, but still I lay here. Wide awake. I am ridiculously tired but a blissful night’s sleep evades me.

I remember when I was younger, I could sleep a solid 12 hours with no trouble at all. Psoriatic arthritis and all that comes with it has made even two straight hours of sleep difficult. I toss and turn. Just when I think I’ve finally fallen asleep I’m jarred awake by a shooting pain down my left arm. Darn it. In my sleep I forgot that I can’t lift my arm past my waist with causing nerve pain to radiate down my arm and into my fingertips. Here I lay, wide awake again. Staring at those bright red numbers.

Try and try again

I try counting sheep, praying the rosary, and counting my blessings. Just when I start to nod off again the itching starts. First at my ankle, then it works its way up to my knee, back, ears, and head. Ugh. Psoriasis strikes again. I lay there and try to ignore it. Scratch, scratch, breathe. Scratch, scratch, breathe. Nope, I can’t do it.

There’s no ignoring it. Now I have to get up, find the steroid cream hiding in the cupboard and contort my body into positions rivaling those done by Chinese acrobats. Just to try and smear it on my back without waking my darling hubby.

The elusive blissful night’s sleep

I wish I could say that I dream of a good night’s sleep. But that would imply that I’ve actually been able to get to sleep and therefore dream. Back in bed again, I roll over and try to find a comfortable position. It is now going on 3:30 am. I start to gratefully nod off when I am awakened by a throbbing pain in my hip this time. My hip joint has been giving me trouble lately and staying in one position for too long has been causing it to throb.

Finding the time limit

Apparently a half hour is the limit for my hip. I roll over and try rubbing it to soothe the pain away. No good. It looks like I need some heat or ice therapy. I pull my body out of bed, stumble down the stairs, and to the refrigerator. Ice pack in hand, I head back to bed determined to get at least another half hour of sleep. Just as I’ve found the right position for my arm, the cream starts working on my itchy skin, and the ice soothes my hip, I finally find some peace.

That is, until my darling hubby’s alarm clock rings 15 minutes later…

Then I’m up again. This time the morning stiffness has settled into my muscles and joints. I have no choice but to get up and get moving. Because you and I both know that once that morning achy-ness sets in, there is definitely no going back to sleep.

And I start my day, all over again. Barely out of bed already counting the hours until I can go back. Wishing that I could have, just once, a blissful night’s sleep.