What do I do now
I know I am just venting and being depressed and angry but I need to tell someone and here you all are. I've been diagnosed about 15 years, 10 years into that my wife was diagnosed with colorectal cancer. I did everything that needed done ignoring flares the best I could, hiding the fact that I had fallen, ruptured a tendon in my leg, and tried to express hope to my children one of which was a junior in high school. This all happened during covid which made it challenging in itself. During this time my wife had multiple surgeries including a port for a colostomy bag which she couldn't change by herself. I was overjoyed about the fact her cancer went into remission and her colon was reattached. The 4 years since her recovery have really sped up the effects of the PsA in me. I understood all those things I was doing for her that I would pay for it after and I have. Recently I have been told I act like an invalid sometimes that I'm just being lazy and I never want to do anything. In the past 4 years I've been fighting low blood pressure as low as 80/50 and low salt. These two problems have caused me to not be allowed to drive. It becomes very difficult to be outgoing when your nearest neighbor is 2 miles away and the nearest town is 10 miles away. I'm just wondering if anyone has any ideas on what to do to get it thru my family's heads that I'm not like this by choice its just how my life is. I've had discussions and even copied articles to show my wife but with minimal results.
you have definitely gone through so much in the past 4 years. Have you thought about seeing a psychologist? I'm not saying you are making anything up not at all. It might help you and your wife be able to talk about things in a manner that helps you both. Psoriatic Arthritis is challenging enough without bringing into account other things. Most insurance has coverage for seeing someone but it would be wise to call them first. We are here for you. It is a place to rant when you need to. Hope this helps. I'm sure some of the others in the community will have other input as well. Vickie W., Team Member 
Have you tried reminding her of all the times you helped her change her colostomy bag? I don't mean to sound, well, mean. But, it sounds like if anyone has earned the right to have your condition accepted at face value, you have.
, it hurts my heart to hear of what you're having to cope with at the moment. You have been through enough already. These comments, especially when they come from loved-ones who knew us before PsA took over our lives, can be SO incredibly hurtful. We are all the complete opposite of lazy (other people clearly don't realise how much energy it takes to do anything when living with PsA) and we would give anything to be able to participate in life as we used to. Oftentimes, it is simply not possible. It sounds like you might be able to relate to the following article from Leanne: https://psoriatic-arthritis.com/living/frustrating-disease As you can see, you're not alone in these frustrations.
Alongside the suggestions from Vickie and Eric, I wonder whether your wife going with you to appointments might help? We have a few community members whose partners really started to understand and support them once they heard about PsA from a medical professional. It does make me sad that this was necessary though. I hope there's a way that you and your wife can work through this. Please lean on us here anytime you need understanding, empathy, or just a place to vent. We're all here for you. Warmly, -Catherine, Community ModeratorI thank you all for the response. Any Doctor's I see my wife is with me, since I can't drive she takes me to all my appointments, at least 2 times a month sometimes 3 depending on how the appointments fall. I've talked to her about it but I feel like I'm a 12 year old whining and I see that in her reaction (could just be me in that). I have never been a complainer and just try to push thru the flares, its just becoming very hard to do that anymore. I have thought about seeing a psychiatrist but again my wife has to take time from work to take me which of course leads to more issues. But it greatly helps just venting to folks that get it. Thanks very much!!!!!
