Bullying

Hi . I wish you didn't have to deal with such ignorance and cruelty. Sadly, I think you will find that many others in the community have encountered similar issues, but you absolutely do not have to take it. Bullying someone in the workplace because of a disabling illness violates the Americans with Disabilities Act and must be addressed by your employer. Is there someone at work you feel comfortable talking to about this, a supervisor or someone in HR? I hope you get more responses to this because I am sure it feels very alienating. Please remember you are not alone and that we are here for you when you need us. Gentle hugs. - Lori (Team Member)

Hi Jennifer. I had much support from my employers when I was first diagnosed around 8 years ago.
Over time though their attitude changed, I think without them even noticing.
Many people, especially in senior management and HR have very little empathy for the situations their staff find themselves in and they only have the company goals in mind. (Not all I’m sure but the vast majority in my experience).


It came to a head for me when Covid took hold. I requested to work from home weeks before it was the official govt guidance in the UK and my employers allowed this without much discussion.
I worked well from home for 18 months but when governments started saying “it’s all over”, “nothing to worry about now” and “everyone back to the office” that is when the drawbridge came up with my employer.
As I’m on a biological and considered clinically extremely vulnerable I requested that I continue to work from home.
This was met with a mixture of stone walking and the threat of demotion, with a reduction in salary and responsibility.
So after 31 years of loyal service (for a company I used to like and trust!) I felt I had no other option but to resign.
This was despite me making low cost suggestions to find a solution to allow me to return to a safe environment, something that made my resignation even harder for me to cope with.
I felt used and abandoned.
So in my experience you need to look after yourself at all costs. If you have somebody you can trust to speak to at work then do so as soon as possible. If not seek professional guidance and perhaps legal support outside of the company.
I wish I had done that sooner than I actually did. I had cases of constructive dismissal and disability discrimination but it had become too stressful for me by then and was affecting my health to the point that I just had to get away from them as soon as possible.
Whilst this has been a very difficult 17 months since I made my decision to resign I still believe it was my best and only reasonable decision as the trauma of covid showed me a lot of peoples true colours.
I hope you find a solution that suits you soon and again, always look after yourself.

, I feel for you and your situation. Nothing like unkind people at work to make a difficult disease even worse.
Prior to getting a diagnosis, I needed a shoulder replacement. I was in my mid 40's, still working full time. I worked an active job in a school setting.
My boss asked me help her rearrange desks and heavy tables in a classroom. I firmly but politely told her that I couldn't. She gave me a glare that spoke volumes. So I reminded her that she had a copy of my restrictions signed by my orthopedic surgeon. She backed off.
The rest of the folks that I worked with could not have been kinder. They respected my limitations.
Is it possible to get anything in writing from a doctor that will help educate your coworkers?
Wishing you you a magic shield to take the sting out of cranky co workers!

Bullying in any situation is unacceptable, but it's worse when we're already struggling with inner feelings of inadequacy due to the limitations this disease entails.
I think how you handle the situation depends largely on the source - is it someone you work with closely or someone with limited interaction? Is it a coworker or a supervisor? Is it interfering with your ability to do your job? Also, please note that everything I say here is with the understanding that you're not in any physical danger. If you are, go immediately to HR and take whatever legal action you need to to ensure your safety.
While the burden to resolve this shouldn't even be on your shoulders, if it's continuing to happen unchecked, then you're left with no choice but find a resolution.
I agree with the others that you need to find an ally, preferably in a position of authority. If your immediate supervisor is unlikely to assist you, or is the source of the bullying, then you may have no other alternative but to go over his/her head.
I would recommend creating a log - write down all of the instances you can recall - keep it as concise as possible but still provide details. Date, time, location, and exactly what occurred. If it specifically impeded your ability to perform your duties, include how - unable to get report signed off in time, unable to attend weekly meeting because I was ordered to do this instead, etc. Be objective, list the facts, leave your feelings out of it. If anyone can verify anything in your log, include their names.
Maintain this log going forward. It could become essential in dealing with the problem, and if there's a worst case scenario, you have it as a reference.
Next, I would try to come up with realistic potential resolutions to the problem. I don't know your work situation, but think it through. Would having it addressed by the bully's supervisor actually help or potentially make things worse? Would one of you being transferred to another department help or even be possible? Would it help to ask to work with another person instead? Would it be possible to work remotely? Would a meeting between the two of you, along with both of your supervisors, during which you can address the issue and share how difficult this makes your worklife be something that would help?
Or maybe you can come up with other potential solutions. But I've always found that when presenting a problem, you're more likely to be both taken seriously and given solid consideration and respect if, in addition to presenting a problem, you also at least try to present realistic solutions. So have your log and a few potential solutions ready to go before you approach anyone for assistance.
If none of those things are possible, or don't work, then I think you are left with two options.
1) Consider a job change. Either within your company or another company entirely. This is a major undertaking and you should think this through thoroughly before taking any action. But I've found over the years that when something becomes more and more difficult and no resolution is clear, it may a sign that a change is needed. Only you can make that determination though.
2) Just don't allow it. This can be a tricky line to walk, though. But if this is emotional bullying, remember that people are hateful because of their own insecurities, so don't allow them to feed on yours. Remind yourself that this is HIS/HER failing, not yours, that their opinion of you doesn't mean squat to anyone who matters, and stand up to them. Either kill them with kindness or give back as good as you get. That's hard for a lot of people though, and if you don't maintain tight control over your own temper, it can get out of hand.
I was once routinely called out by a coworker for things I had nothing to do with. After months of this, I finally turned to her and told her very calmly and with a smile, in front of the rest of the office, that while I appreciated her concern for me and my work habits, until her signature appeared on my paycheck, she should keep her opinions to herself. Then I went and sat down in our supervisor's office. I asked him about a work related issue, but SHE didn't know that, and the message was clear. I wasn't going to take it anymore.
Good luck. You deserve to be treated with the same respect and dignity with which you treat others. Always take the high road if you can, but also establish firm boundaries for what you will and won't tolerate in how others treat you.