I Miss The Person I Used To Be...
Last updated: September 2021
The pain started in 2009. The arthritis in my right hip was discovered in 2013. Since then, other joints have become significantly impacted as well – my left foot, both knees, the SI joint, my lower & middle spine, the neck, shoulders, elbows, & hands.
The impact on daily life
By 2017, I was no longer able to ascend & descend stairs and started having to use the store's mobility cart when shopping. 2019 & 2020 hit me especially hard. I ended up having to quit work and go out on disability. I'm only good on my feet for a few minutes and it requires the use of two canes for stability & balance.
Unfortunately, I do not have the financial wherewithal to afford to get an "official" diagnosis and treatment. Nevertheless, symptoms, x-rays, and the results of a skin biopsy ordered by my primary care physician pretty much confirm it's PsA.
The strain of fatigue and lack of sleep
My sleep is constantly disrupted and therefore never restorative. The excruciating pain, the debilitating exhaustion & fatigue, as well as the continuing loss of mobility & function is quite disheartening. Every night I pray that I don't wake up the next morning to face yet another day of this living nightmare because accepting what the future holds is downright frightening!
Help from a good therapist
With that being said, I am working with a really good therapist to help me cope & deal with the anxiety & depression brought on by all this. She is also helping me to grieve all the things that this dreadful condition has stolen from me.
I miss the person I used to be!
Has PsA changed how you think about sex and intimacy?
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