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Neverending list of medical bologna

Three years ago I threw my back out and spent a week in the hospital. Five months later, it happened again. I have no memory of going to the hospital this time but I was there again for a week. Recovering at home, my psoriasis raged completely out of control! Within three days, my body was covered in lesions that cracked and bled. The itch was so bad that I thought I was losing my mind! Oh, wait…it wasn’t my mind that I was losing. It was my hair. What!?!? This progressed even after seeing the dermatologist and having him tell me that psoriasis does not cause hair loss nor does the methotrexate he put me on. Faith lost in my dermo right then and there.

Back pain, psoriasis outbreak, hair loss, and then came the hand and elbow pain and swelling. Fast forward to the present… My life has become a constant stream of doctor appointments. Nothing else. In addition to PsA diagnosis a little more than a year ago, there is depression so severe that I stay in bed for days. I lost my job during my second back injury, for which I have no explanation. I spent six days in psych unit due to depression meds being dosed incorrectly…thank you to the mental health system that treats people (not according to their health history) but based on the drug company’s latest and greatest cure-all pill! My cognitive functions are suffering. I no longer care if any housework is done. I have times that showering occurs maybe every 7-10 days. I isolate from everyone because I no longer feel like being “happy”, and I feel worthless because I can no longer go out and make a living. Heck, I can’t even balance my checkbook anymore. All the while, the pain is still here. All of this is invisible to people around me except my husband and my son. I feel awful for what they are going through – because

I am no longer a loving wife or a caring mother. I am a burden – from where I see things.
PsA was the proverbial straw to break the camels back (pun intended!). Seeing my rheumatologist in a month to start yet another medication.

I’m 50 years old and this has ruined me. Physically, mentally, socially, financially, and any other “-ally” words you can think of. What’s next? Another doctor appointment. Sigh…

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The Psoriatic-Arthritis.com team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

Comments

  • ClairG moderator
    4 months ago

    @Melissa galileo. How are getting on? Did you Dr start you on something new?

  • melissagallo author
    4 months ago

    Hi Clairg,
    I apologize for not responding sooner. Here is the latest…
    Last month, I had labs redone and saw my rheumatologist. Cosentyx was the rx and it took three weeks to get – between insurance and paperwork being done. I did my my first injection 9 days ago. This is one of five weekly loading doses before changing to monthly dose.
    Days 1-4 after injection, no changes for better or worse.
    Day 5, I developed a nasty cold.
    Day 7, labs done and saw doc again. Was told to stop Cosentyx until cold is gone completely. Also, WBC is low… (Slapping my palm to my forehead) OF COURSE IT IS LOW! I’m taking immunosuppressive meds and am sick!!!!
    Day 8, went shopping with hubby.
    Day 9, today I am exhausted and still have a cold.

    I have been reading through stories on here for the past couple hours and have found that I can relate to each and every post in one way or another. I have read encouraging words from people that have found temporary relief from PsA. I have been brought to tears several times as their words make me want to scream “I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH! I truly get it. WHY DON’T PEOPLE IN MY LIFE UNDERSTAND?!”

    This journey that I am on has not been pleasant, nor has it been easy. As many have said, I am no longer “the old me” and today, I do feel lost. I hope tomorrow will be better.

  • Diane T
    4 months ago

    Hi Melissa,

    I am 60 years old, have had psoriasis for 55 years and psoriatic arthritis for over 30 years but it took me 25 years to get the proper diagnosis. I want to say; I know how you feel, but you don’t need to hear that right now. I do want to say that I am here for you. None of us should have to suffer like this; but we do and we do it alone. Nobody understands our struggles, but I do understand. I understand every split, crack, pain, bleeding, soreness, hair loss, doctor appointments and the dreadful itch. Never give up hope. We are in this together.

    Take care,

    Diane

  • melissagallo author
    4 months ago

    Diane,
    Thank you so much! I told my husband about finding this site. Knowing that there are people out there to reach out to does help.

    I hope you are doing well!

  • pablocruz2
    7 months ago

    My first time here….experiencing much the same emotions as you. I’m a 57 yr old male, severe plaque psoriasis sufferer for years, but very well controlled by my Stelara. Have suffered the stiffness and pain for years, but always attributed it to other plausible things. I had cervical discotomy (C5-C7) in April this year and am still recuperating from that. I thank god every day that I no longer have the nerve pain associated with the herniated discs, but at the same time very frustrated that I still wake to “rusted,frozen, achy joints” with pain that still requires tramadol for relief, and still struggling with the constant fatigue. And these symtoms have seemed to be getting worse! I “semi” -retired in August….so work is no longer a viable explanation. Long story short…I have methodically removed any other plausible causes of these symptoms from my life until only the PsA remains as the most likely cause. Finally convinced my PCP to run the tests, and am awaiting results. EXCEPT…..back in April before my surgery my cardiologist put me back on statins for cholesterol at a 40mg /day dose. My PCP suspects the statins are the cause of the newest wave of muscle/joint pain! Its sooo frustrating!
    Please know that just reading your post and knowing that I am not alone in this thing, that there are others experiencing the same emotions, is a big help and comfort. Not that I would wish these things on anyone, but that we CAN lean on each other for support.

  • melissagallo author
    7 months ago

    Pablo, Statins????? Really?!?! If possible and if needed for insurance, ask your PCP for a referral to a rheumatologist. Did your PCP get xrays of your hands? My PCP scared the heck out of me by telling me he suspected lupus was the cause of all this mess. Thankfully, he’s an awesome doc and referred me for a definite diagnosis!
    I too had herniated discs L5-S1 both times….but no surgery. I still have pain that wants creep in but I stop whatever I’m doing to keep it away.
    Been denied for disability twice and am now waiting for court hearing. That is frustrating….having someone tell me that I’m capable of working… Walk a mile in our shoes, right?
    I am grateful for this website….read stories for a long time and now know, I’m not alone!
    Good luck to you Pablo!! Do keep me posted on your results!!!

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