I Have Psoriatic Arthritis, But It Doesn't Have Me

My journey with psoriatic arthritis (PsA) began quite abruptly, as often happens with PsA. Suddenly my legs started to hurt and I couldn't figure out why. It was another symptom that my primary care doctor brushed off as normal aging. I was 32 and could barely walk some days. I was so stiff and hurt so much. I knew something was going on, but it seemed no doctor believed me. However, I had been through all of this before when doctors did not believe me when I had chronic mono. I was right then, and I was right this time, too.

This journey with PsA has taken me through paths where I have encountered difficulties with walking, scary brain fog, swelling that made it hard to write, and psoriasis patches that embarrass me. I have been on medication that eased the pain and stiffness, but had such side effects that I had to stop taking them. My rheumatologist told me that if I did not work through the pain and keep moving, I would be in a wheelchair in 6 months. I decided then that even though I have psoriatic arthritis, it would not have me.

How has PsA changed my life?

I have made a lot of changes in my life because of PsA. There is always room for improvement, of course, and I don't always stick to them as I should, but without these changes, I know I will be in pain. I've learned what I have to do to keep my body moving. Most days, even though I have psoriatic arthritis, psoriatic arthritis doesn't have me.

But there are days that PsA grabs on and won't let go. Today is one of those days. Thunderstorms are my worst trigger for a flare, and we had some severe ones yesterday with some more on the way today. I'm swollen, sore, and stiff. I know that movement shortens the symptoms from a weather flare, but I'm drained from a long and stressful work week and the weather flare. I just don't have the energy today. It can be easy to get down on myself when I'm not bouncing back from a flare as fast as I would like. I have to remind myself that this flare is temporary, the pain and soreness will pass.

Recovering from a flare

Psoriatic arthritis does not have me, even when I'm struggling to recover from a flare. I may need more recovery time and rest today, but that's okay. I still win. I'm not staying in the bed forever or stopping my walks just because it hurts. I just need enough rest to let my body catch up. Then, its back to my stretches, lunchtime walks, and my 10,000 step goal. Sure, I have PsA, but it doesn't have me. And as long as I keep fighting, it never will.