Hopeless

I have had PsA for about 5 yrs but it has really progressed in the last year and especially the last few months. I have to travel about 4 hrs one way to find a rheumatologist that takes my insurance so up until now I have been just seeing my regular doctor. I am on Embrel, methotrexate, Neurontin and antidepressants. Oh and I also tried Lyrica for a few months this yr but nothing seems to be helping.

I went on Saturday but my doctor wasn’t working so I had to see the other doctor. He gave me a steroid and Toradol shot with zero relief so I have been in excruciating pain all weekend. Just waiting for tomorrow morning when I can tell my doctor what is happening because it’s new and suddenly started Friday and the intensity is almost too much for me to bare. I am office manager at a telecommunications company so I am sitting at a desk most of every day. I have had some neck pain before with a knot and swelling but not like this, it started like Thursday and just gotten worse.

And both of my wrist right below the thumbs feels like whatever band that is, is so tight they will snap into soon, incredible non-stop burning pain just like my neck. I’m so depressed because I don’t want to live this way where every day is just struggles and pain. Lying in bed already in so much pain and then my feet and hands go to BURNING so badly all I can do is rub them. I am so worried that my doctor will not do anything in the morning to help and I will just have to keep suffering. Saturday morning my blood pressure was like 108/155 and they took it a few times but I was crying almost inconsolably and in a severe amount of pain so I wasn’t surprised but very concerned. I am a single mom of 2 and work full time at least 40 hrs/wk with lots of responsibilities. I have people counting on me that I am letting down because I have been in so much pain all weekend. It’s a struggle just to exist. I just pray I can explain it to the doctor so he will understand and be able to help me.

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