I may be flagging but I’m still trying!!

Psoriatic arthritis? What’s that? Can’t be that bad – now I have a diagnosis I can get better... can’t I? These were my thoughts and words when I was diagnosed 6 years ago at 33 with this insatiably complex condition (not that I knew then what I know now).

My initial signs of psoriatic arthritis

It had started 10 years ago with severe back spasms, plantar fasciitis, pain in places I didn’t know existed, and fatigue that literally wiped me out. I had always been the busiest social butterfly and enjoyed a demanding but fulfilling career – I love my work and thought nothing of working 10 hour days. But all of a sudden I felt like I had been hit by a bus and couldn’t understand what was happening. I lost friends as I couldn’t remember plans or keep up with planned events. Then one year I woke up on Xmas day and my hands wouldn’t move.

Increasing pain and severity

In the next 6 months, I experienced pain like never before in my feet, hands, neck, back, elbow and knee. I couldn’t walk, move or work without crying through pain and fatigue. My toes and fingers were like sausages and psoriasis filled my ears, hair, and covered patches over my body. The doctor took one look at me one bad day and got me an emergency appointment with a rheumatologist the next week.

My best friend was intent on working out what was going on and the day we arrived at the hospital to see my rheumatologist she had already worked out I had psoriatic arthritis.

It does not stop after diagnosis

The journey since then has by no means been easy. I have snapped my left Achilles’ tendon due to enthesopathy and recently had surgery on my right one to stop it snapping as I have not been able to walk unaided for 2 years from pain. Methotrexate wipes me out every weekend and my biological keeps my arthritis calm. I can’t wear heels anymore or dance, I had to get a new car as my snapped Achilles means I lost control of the foot, the fatigue still wipes me out and I suffer constantly with having to stop the car on my way home from work to rest my eyes.

Staying motivated

BUT!!! I will NOT lose everything to this illness and like many others, I have learnt what I can and can’t do. Found ways around more difficult situations. Ask for help now and ensure I plan my time accordingly. I’m still loving my career but fight very hard daily to live a life that enables me to be my best at work. And like everyone else knows, that’s not easy! And also like everyone else, I won’t be giving up anytime soon! So I may be flagging, but I’m gonna keep on trying!!!