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Cosmic Jokes

cassierae's avatar image

By cassierae

Last Updated:

1 min read

I hate telling others about my chronics. I know I’m amazing just cuz I keep going, but others (especially judgy relatives) think I live a decadent life.

  • Spinal Stenosis
  • Peripheral Neuropathy
  • Degenerative Disc Disease
  • Fibromyalgia
  • Osteoarthritis

Yeah, a real list of owies. Yet I never knew how good I had it (haha, but seriously) until PsA. I have inverse scalp/face/ears flakes, nail psoriasis, and the kind that shows up on the bottom of your feet that makes walking a real punishment.

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Feeling overwhelmed and scared

I don’t have a specialist mainly because I have no transportation and a deep fear of riding with someone I don’t know (not going to mention how many times I’ve been wrecked cuz it just seems made up).

I’m overwhelmed. I’m tired of hurting. I live in rural Appalachia, therefore it’s not easy even if I had support.

My father had the same thing and an ignorant doctor. He died at age 57. His heart exploded from pain. He had been on pain medication for over 20 years. I’m not on anything but depression meds.

I’m scared. I am full of apathy because it seems so hopeless that I would rather be ambivalent than scared. I need help. I don’t know how to get it. I’m completely silver-headed. I’m 44.

So tired.

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