Living with PsA is a Balancing Act

Living with psoriatic arthritis has taught me the importance of balance. If not careful, my whole world can fall apart leaving me feeling hopeless, angry, and frustrated. Three areas that require balance and my attention are my body, mind, and time.

Balancing my body

Psoriatic arthritis isn’t my only chronic illness, I have several others. So my lack of balance could be a product of PsA alone, of one of the others, or a combination of them all. Which one is to blame isn’t as important as doing what I can to stay upright. I resisted using mobility aids longer than I should have. I was too proud to admit that I needed assistance and too ashamed to accept it. While not every one of my falls was preventable, many could have been avoided had I just used the tools that were available. Finally tired of going to the emergency room to address or make sure that I didn’t suffer new injuries from my falls, I gave in and began using my mobility aids when needed. Fewer injuries meant less pain and more time and energy to do what I wanted.

Balancing my mind

Balancing my emotions isn’t as easy as keeping my physical balance. I can’t buy a tool on Amazon that will keep me from worrying about life, especially life with a disease that in the past had confined me to bed. I had to learn how to open my eyes to the good in life again, that physical health wasn’t the only qualifying factor of a good life. This didn’t mean that it wasn’t important, but that it was okay to be happy even though I was sick. It also meant not covering up my sadness with fake joy. Maintaining emotional balance is a never-ending project. I can’t deny my struggles, but I also can’t allow my struggles to smother me.

Balancing my time

When I was flaring and stuck in bed, I felt like I had nothing but time. Then the moment I felt well enough to get out of bed, time just flew out the window. I felt like there was never enough time to care for myself and for my family and friends at the same time. Finding a balance of caring for myself and not neglecting my family isn’t easy. It means paying better attention to the needs of my body, having realistic expectations on what I am able to do for others, and not compromising when I know something will disrupt the balance I work so hard to keep. One wrong move in regards to any one of these areas often results in additional injury, more time stuck in bed, having to cancel plans, not being able to follow through on a commitment, and more pain.

Staying balanced with chronic illness

Sometimes it doesn’t feel like the time and energy put into all of this balancing is worth it, then I remember how dreadful my life was when I wasn’t, and that is what keeps me going.