Sleepless in the City

It is 3AM and I am awake. This is nothing unusual for me. I spend many nights tossing, desperate to find a comfortable position to fade off into sleep.

Maybe I'll take another painkiller. 3:12AM. Tick tock. Tick tock. 3:32AM. Now, I am calculating just how long I have before I truly need to get out of bed. Such a fun game we play, isn't it? I pray I can catch at least a little shut-eye so I can make it through the day without feeling like a freight train collided with me.

Waking up, slowly but surely.

I remind myself that I am a 37-year-old adult and can get out of my bed whenever I see fit. So I do just that. I slide out of bed quietly. Correction, I do not slide. Slowly, I inch my way up straight and sit and grumble in my mind about my very sore back and ribs.

Then I get some socks and slippers on without making too much noise as my little girl sleeps close by. Our apartment is small, and I do not want to wake anyone. So ninja mode is evoked. A very slow and currently grumpy ninja, but a ninja no less.

My body is in so much pain at the moment that I cannot seem to think straight just yet. Being upright, though, changes my position. And I know that soon enough, I will be able to feel the relief from the immense pain of laying in bed. It is honestly ridiculous that sleeping has become such a painful affair.

There is no going back to sleep for me

So what on earth do we do now? After a trip to the bathroom and a sip of water, I stand quietly with soft lights on, wondering what I should do next. What a sight it must be, me in my pajamas and a shawl standing and doing nothing but thinking.

I would love to get started on tidying my apartment, but that will wake everyone up. The cats have gotten up to greet me for ear rubs. They are most delighted to have me up and about. "So, what shall we do?" I ask my tabby cat, with his fluffy tail.

There is no going back to sleep for me, so I decide that now is a perfect time to get some work done. By soft light, I kick start my laptop and make myself a warm cup of coffee. Wrapping my mustard yellow shawl around me, I get sucked in on catching up on my admin work.

Another day in the life managing psoriatic arthritis

When I opt not to take painkillers this time in the morning, this is usually the way it goes for me. Without a doubt, about an hour from now, a crash is gonna come anyway. The crash comes in the form of a power nap; though I do not return to bed, I sit in a recliner and dose off against the sound of the world waking up around me.

If I take painkillers, I am going to want a whole lot more than a power nap. Being a single mum means that shortly thereafter, my precious daughter will be up and awake and ready to get our day started. For this, I would like to be as awake as possible.