How PsA Turned Me into the Queen of Excuses

Before psoriatic arthritis (PsA), I didn’t make excuses when someone invited me out or asked me to do something. Unless I was previously engaged, I never said no. In fact I would break into a sweat if I even had to consider having an excuse. But that all changed after a few years of living with psoriatic arthritis and I soon became the queen of excuses.

Riding into the kingdom on a horse named Fear

Fear was the single force that led me to my royal status. I feared experiencing a spike in pain before, during, and after events. I was afraid of having outings end with an unplanned emergency room visit or missing out on the next few weeks of life because I was bedridden. I feared becoming uncomfortable during an outing and becoming the one who spoils the party by having to go home early. Fears of not knowing which mobility aid would be needed or if it would be needed at all, having enough pain medication to get me through a pain spike, and not being able to care for my family paralyzed me and would turn my "yes" into a "no".

The lonely queen

I am embarrassed to admit this, but it took many years before I became aware of my royal status. PsA gave me 100’s of excuses. So many that I rarely needed to repeat a single excuse. It didn’t really catch my attention until 5 years ago. It was at this point where I had literally driven away almost everyone in my life. I rarely left the house or chatted on the phone. It wasn’t that I didn’t have opportunities to get out of the house or have people to talk to; it was that I had allowed my excuses to take over my life. I could decline an offer with a health related excuse in less than 30 seconds. Spewing excuses had become a natural response; I did it without even thinking about it.

Becoming the princess of possibilities

I am no longer the queen of excuses. After acknowledging that I had given fear control of my life it was time to take it back. From that point on, whenever I sense an excuse is ready to slip past my lips, I stop, breath, and think. Is this something that I could do? Is there a different way to do it? Thinking of solutions and possibilities is what gave me back my life. Making excuses got me nowhere. Have I used my illness as an excuse since? Of course, there are somethings that aren’t possible, but instead of declining 90-100% of my offers I am only declining 10%. As the princess of possibilities I have been able to find new ways to do things I used to enjoy and spend more time with people I love. While PsA gave me 100’s of excuses, I have found more possibilities. My new motto is to never say no without considering all possibilities. What's your motto?