A Psoriatic Life: Tips For Your Loved Ones
Last updated: July 2023
Today we are going to look at things from a different perspective. By the time we are done, my hope is that you will share this article with your loved ones. The goal is they will draw some inspiration and understanding. After all, the thing that we want most is to be understood and supported. Right? Right.
Finding support from loved ones
Showing someone with psoriatic arthritis that you care isn’t that different from showing almost anyone that you care about them. Everyone has their own unique “love language” and it is important that you figure out what they are.
So let’s get down to it. Be they lovers, friends, family, spouses, we may not have answers off the top of our heads when asked how they can help. Honestly, because it is all just so difficult.
Our approach of social engagements
It is Friday night and we have that dinner with Suzie and her husband, we planned this weeks ago. You are so excited, I know you are looking forward to it and I am ready to give it my all to make this fun. Truth be told, I am also looking forward to it, it is just that, everything hurts.
My body is so tired and my joints are aching. It has been a long week. The feeling sets in that I do not know how I am even going to have the energy to get to the end of my workday. Let alone a dinner party. Please do not be mad at me if I can’t make it.
Try to understand that I also wanted to go, I just need to go home, have a healing bath, take some pain meds, and fall asleep. Please feel free to go, I would never expect you to always stay in when I am feeling poorly. Goodness knows that is so often. Please allow me space and safety to feel that I do not always have to try and push through it.
Pay attention to our struggles in the right way
If you see me struggling or you know that I struggle with certain things, you can always offer to help. Better yet, you can just jump in and do them without making me feel bad about it.
Please do not come and help me with something and use that condescending tone or make snide remarks. I feel bad enough as it is about my limitations. I despise the fact that sometimes I need more help than I would like to ask for. Which is probably why I won’t, I do not want to be a burden to you.
Our many, many moods
My moods are somewhat unpredictable. I am sorry that I snapped at you this morning. It was uncalled for. Sleep is restless and being in constant pain and discomfort continues to take its toll on me.
Some days it is so hard being trapped with this condition. Most of the time my mood is not aimed at you and I am sorry that it feels that way. Every day I remember
One piece of advice
If you could give your loved ones one tip, what would it be? My one tip would ask them to read about the spoon theory. I believe it will give them a greater understanding of why normal day to day tasks are that much more exhausting for those with chronic conditions.
There are things that our loved ones do not even have to think of doing, they just do. For us, it is a whole different kettle of fish. The most important thing we want our loved ones to know is that we love and appreciate them, every single day.
Do you have any questions about PsA?