A Holiday Gift from Psoriatic Arthritis: When Jaw Pain Crashes Dinner

In the past, I tried to avoid gatherings like dinner parties. I always worried I was offending the host by not going for seconds or having large portions, even if they knew I wasn't doing well. My insecurity showed in the forms of forcing myself to eat so others wouldn't notice and repeatedly reassuring the host that the food is delicious.

Finding it difficult or tiring to eat is usually what my friends and relatives notice the most when I'm flaring. There are even times where I'm in too much pain to feel hungry. Sometimes, others have a hard time understanding how jaw pain affects me, especially at food-centered events. Few realize that it isn't as simple as filling up on mashed potatoes and gravy; instead, I need to find soft and nutritious foods, eat small portions and spread out meals.

Jaw pain, psoriatic arthritis and the holidays

Anyone with psoriatic arthritis can tell you it never picks a convenient time to flare. Naturally, stress and anxiety from the holidays can trigger more inflammation. And for the last several years, my jaw has flared up just in time for the holiday season.

Since the inflammation in my jaw has become more active, I've had no choice but to try to grin and bear it through the holidays. A TMJ (temporomandibular joint) flare is tough to cope with on a day-to-day basis, nevermind on Thanksgiving or Christmas. The extra-low energy levels it causes due to a lack of sleep and nutrition can make merely keeping your eyes open impossible, nevermind hosting, traveling, and socializing. And, of course, there's the other issue of how to cope with the holiday dinner.

While I don't think it'll ever be easy to cope with, there are some things that I've found makes going to Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner more bearable:

Tip 1: Let your jaw doing the talking. Let the host know.

If you feel comfortable, let the host know what's going on. Explain that you are dealing with a lot of pain and that eating is a challenge. A compassionate host will understand and won't feel offended if you're reluctant to try the main course or only take small portions. You could even offer to bring a dish that you know you can handle.

I've always felt comfortable at parties hosted by my mom, who also suffers from PsA in the jaw. She knows more than anyone how I'm feeling, and doesn't question why I'm filling up on drinks instead of on the food she prepared.

Tip 2: Snacking through the holidays

Traveling with a TMJ flare can be challenging. On top of feeling like your dragging, you might not be able to find soft food readily available. There have been more than a few times I wound up having a shake as a meal at pit stops because there weren't any other good options for me.

Bringing snacks can be a lifesaver. Having yogurt, cottage cheese, thermoses of soup, pouches of apple sauce, and other snacks on hand can help curb hunger when most rest-stop food isn't an option. If you're flying, soft snacks such as bananas and whole or sliced avocados can usually go through security.

Tip 3: Holiday dinner with those who don't notice your jaw pain

Surrounding yourself with compassionate people who understand what you're going through is your best bet. Or even with those who probably wouldn't notice. I've found it's the best way to avoid awkward remarks such as "you eat like a bird" or "why don't you like the food?" My favorite people to sit next to are my boyfriend and mom, who knows what's going on. Or, I'll sit by the kids, who are too busy talking to notice if I'm eating!

Tip 4: Holiday leftovers

Whenever my jaw is acting up, I have a hard time eating for long stretches. It gets tiring after a few minutes, so it's impossible to eat a big meal. Instead, I eat frequently in small amounts to keep my strength up throughout the day. So I always make sure to make myself a plate to take home and enjoy a little at a time.

There's more to the holidays than jaw pain

While there is a lot of emphasis on food over the holidays, it's not the only activity going on. Watching the parade, following the football games, and catching up with relatives are all parts of the holidays without sharing a meal. And, of course, spending time with the little ones, gift exchanges, seasonal movies, and church services are a part of Christmas for many of us.

When I'm not feeling well, I try to cherish the quality time with loved ones. Even if I'm not very active in the conversation, I love hearing what's going on with everyone. Being able to find joy in other holiday traditions helps me enjoy the day without focusing on the meal.