Psoriatic Lessons: You Cannot Pour From an Empty Cup

"You cannot pour from an empty cup". This might be one of my most favorite sayings. This quote has taught me so much about life. Most importantly, the lesson about having to look after my own needs before I try to help the needs of others.

The importance of self-care

My best friend will be smiling while reading this. I am humble enough to admit that putting myself first has never been one of my stronger traits. I love doing things for other people, it really is one of the more rewarding things in life. On the flip side of this, I am not too great at offering the same to myself.

I am sure there is some deeply rooted issue, one I am not willing to face just yet. I am learning though. Slowly but surely I am learning that I need to offer myself the same effort and care that I so willingly give to others.

Defining selfishness

Contrary to popular belief, prioritizing your self is not selfishness. This is really a concept I struggled to come to grips with. My understanding was that I would be a selfish person to take of myself.

How can I put time and effort into myself when there are people around me that I care about that need my attention more than I do? It took me time to realize that I was not being selfish but simply learning to give myself the same that I give others.

Making the time

I am a single mama. I balance two jobs, along with insomnia, guttate psoriasis, and psoriatic arthritis. I try and get to the gym at least three times a week and make time to see friends. I often drop the ball. I am so far from perfect.

Finding time within this schedule to actually make time for me, is a choice. One with very palpable effects. Schedule a date with yourself, once a week if you can. Block that time out in your calendar, just like you would for a lunch date with a friend. I am worth it and so are you. Make the time.

What fills your cup?

For all of us, this will be different. I refer to these things as food for your soul (soul food). They are the things that I enjoy most and when I am done, I feel recharged.

For some, it is going to the gym, going dancing, or reading a book in the lazy winter sun. Maybe for you, it will be spending time with friends that are low maintenance and not draining. Find your jam, the things that make you feel calm and collected. That way when you are done, there is an extra spring in your step.

Make the time to fill your cup so that you can continue to offer friendship, love, and relationships to those around you. Make time for yourself. You need to fill the cup, and even the teapot before you can pour from it again.