Do Unto Yourself as You Would Do Unto Others

I am sure you have heard the phrase, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” But how often do you follow it? Could you truly say that you treat yourself like you would others?

Rules for self-motivation when living with psoriatic arthritis

I haven’t always been good to myself. In fact, that little lightbulb didn’t go off in my head until six years ago. I remember verbally berating myself for not being able to do something because of the limitations that psoriatic arthritis brings to my life.

I stopped myself and thought, would I have said these same things to another person? Of course not! Then I created a few rules to follow when talking to myself.

Coping with kindness

I put the old saying of “If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all” into practice. I can’t always control what my chronic illnesses are going to throw at me, but I can control the words to describe how my body behaves.

When my thoughts were consumed with discouraging thoughts, it became impossible to find anything nice to say about myself or life. When being repeatedly told that one is worthless, you begin to believe it as truth.

Stop pushing yourself

Would I tell someone I love to keep pushing when it’s obvious that they are experiencing extreme pain? Heck no!! Then I needed to stop doing it to myself. I find imaging a loved one having the same pain and illnesses helps.

By doing this I automatically go into caregiver mode and my head is filled with ideas of how to make things better for them. If I wouldn’t push someone I love to do more than they can physically handle, then I shouldn’t push myself either.

Predicting the unpredicatable

What do we do when a friend or family member does something to hurt us? We forgive them! So why is it so hard to forgive our bodies for failing or ourselves for making a bad decision?

Life with psoriatic arthritis is unpredictable. Mistakes are always going to be made. But if we fail to forgive ourselves all we do is breed anger and resentment. I find by using my mistakes as moments of learning what not to do, it is easier for me to move forward without fear that I am going to make the same mistake over and over again.

When motivation overpowers coping

Have you ever told your child or best friend to give up on a dream? That dreams are worthless and there is no use in trying? Never, right?! But, how often have you had those thoughts about your own dreams or life?

Everyone needs to hear words of encouragement, even from ourselves. Before completely giving up on a dream or desire, I encourage myself to find a way. I find focusing on my abilities to be helpful. Sometimes a brainstorming session on how to work around my limitations is also beneficial.

I had to learn to listen, care, comfort and love myself in the same manner that I love others. I’m not perfect and slip up now and then, but with practice, recognizing when I am treating myself poorly is becoming easier.