I’m Stuck! My Words Won’t Come Out.

I've been feeling stuck for a few weeks. I haven't been able to communicate in the way I want. I am at a loss in being able to express, write or even recognize why I am feeling this particular way.

Was this a result of brain fog?

It felt like I was in a terrible dream where I needed to talk, but my voice had no sound and no one could hear me. I used to have these kinds of dreams when I was a kid, especially when I was feeling unwell.

Perhaps I was feeling the change of season. I don’t know about you, but for me, autumn is always the most challenging transition. It's when I feel more pain and irritability.

I always thought that brain fog was sporadic - something that comes and goes situationally. I did some research and found out that “brain fog” can last from minutes to days to even weeks.

Do I say how I really feel?

For a long time I’ve avoided talking about my pain and how it impacted me. Not just in casual conversations, but even at home. My husband struggled with hearing me - he felt helpless and dealing with his own trauma, his mother suffers from hypochondria.

I felt uncomfortable sharing when I was in pain or when I was having difficulties focusing. The problem was that I never shared with him much about what living with psoriatic arthritis was like.

He never heard about brain fog. Without communicating, he simply thought I didn’t listen, that I was forgetful or just had difficulty focusing. So there I was, trying to cover my feelings so I didn’t make him uncomfortable and instead he was feeling bad and doubting about our relationship.

It was time to open up

I had to open up. So I did, and guess what? It went better than I thought. I felt relieved and suddenly, some of the tension faded away. I know it’s not easy to talk about the way we feel when we’re not well. It would be much better if we could dig a hole and forget about it. Believe me, it doesn’t work.

I’ve opened up this way just about a few months ago, after almost 7 years in silence. Way too long, I know! But that’s in the past now. My gentle suggestion to you all is, don’t hide away as I did. You’re not alone!

If you're feeling the effects of the season and seem to be suffering from long-term brain fog, my advice would be to take the time for what is important. This includes relationships, rest, and self-care.

Communicating can make all the difference

Brain fog can allow us to feel like the present moment is elongated, it's difficult to navigate. If you relax and don’t push yourself too much, things will fall into place.

Sometimes we need to allow, to let go, as Autumn is trying to teach us. Do you feel this extra fatigue or brain fog this season more than any other? I’m interested to know if this is quite common with psoriatic arthritis. Please, share your experience.