Couple with their arms around each other in support while chaotic shapes swirl around them

How To Tell Your Significant Other You Are Getting Worse?

I walked into the grocery store the other day and couldn’t move because the pain was so sharp in my leg; that it just stopped me cold. It wasn’t the pain that bothers me as much as thinking about how I would tell my happy-go-lucky husband, who is carefree and wants to travel the world when we retire that I might not be able to make that journey with him. This made me very sad. We have been together for 25 years and I never thought that I would ever be left behind.

Twenty-five years and counting

My husband has known about my illness since day one. He has always been my number one advocate and has been with me all the way. I have always been open and honest with him and have never thought about keeping anything from him, but just the idea of thinking that one day I might not be able to move on with him actually scares me. How will this change our relationship? I am taking more and more pain pills just to keep up. What will happen when the pills stop working? Will he understand and still be there for me? Remember, they say 60 is the new 40; could I get traded in for a younger and healthier me?

How my husband helps me

My husband has always been understanding and has never wanted to fix me. He has always loved me and been by my side over the years. He understands when I can’t get out of bed or when my medication doesn’t work. He cooks, cleans and makes life easier for me. He has always been patient.

One thing I have learned over the years is to listen. I did tell him how I was feeling and my concerns about getting worse. I met my husband when I was in my 30’s; I am now in my 60’s. We as women have so much social pressure put on us. We have to have great jobs and be excellent moms while we are sick and let’s not mention we have to be perky, young and pretty.

Communicating with my husband when I'm struggling

I had to look deep inside myself so I could tell my husband what was going on with me. I didn’t want to freak him out or upset him unnecessarily. I had to calm myself and be strong. I know that deep in my heart my husband will love me no matter what. We have gotten through rough times before and will do it again.

Just listen

I know I had to be honest with him and put it all on the table. I didn’t want to hold anything back and then have it come back to haunt me later. We have always had a good relationship and I didn’t want to lose this. I know that this is my clue to stop talking and just listen to what he has to say. I believe he has the right to express how he feels also and he did. My husband told me that he will always love me and will always be by my side. He said we will always share our time together whether I’m sick or not.

Trying to see the positive side of having PsA

There are days I struggle more with my health and my doctors just give me more drugs to take. I told my husband I didn’t know how I could move on with being sick all the time. For years I have used my illness to help others in any way I could. As my husband told me; we are all fighting battles of some sort. My significant other sees the positive with me having psoriatic arthritis.

I am learning what makes me happy. Psoriatic arthritis has taught me that I have an incredible support system and a great husband.  These are people who want to help and support me. This disease reminds me every day that I’m not healthy, but it also reminds me to continue to do my best with my husband by my side on this long journey.

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