"It's 11.50am and I'm in bed, crying!!! I went to bed last night at 9.30pm, I, just, couldn't do anything, so, I took the easy way out. Sleep. My husband has, always, been supportive, but, after 10 years of this, he's losing his empathy. I don't, really, blame him. I hate to admit this, but, I'm bitter and resentful. I'm feeling, very, sorry for myself. I've been bipolar, for 15 years, and, for 10+ years, I've had Psoriatic Arthritis, mixed connective tissue disorder, fibromyalgia, degenerative disc disease, Irritable Bowel Syndrome and, recently, been diagnosed with Sjogrens. This is the only time that I'll list them all. All of the autoimmune diseases which , seem to, follow one another, adding to the pain, and, in turn, increase the, seemingly endless, pain, fatigue and depression. I'm glad that I found this forum. I don't think I'm alone in feeling guilty about burdening my husband, friends and family by , constantly, complaining , whining " why me??", ( I call it, victim mode). I'm told that "I'm lucky to have a, brilliant, rheumatologist ". She's head of her Department. She's educated on, cutting edge, treatments. Blah, blah, blah. All I know is, she won't prescribe the Prednisone, which helps my pain, so much. I'm too young to be on, such, strong steroids. I'm 50 this month. I don't care about how I'll feel when I'm 70, I need a life, NOW!!! At this rate, I'll be lucky if I make it to 70. Is there anyone else, out there, who feels as desperate as me??? There has to be. I can't be alone, surely?? Anyway, I have to force myself out of bed. ( exercise will make me feel, so much, better). Exercise??? It will be a miracle if I'm able to shower, today. I'll need help to get dressed, today. Latest request, could I not wince and groan when I sit down or stand up??? It's upsetting for my kids!!! Hello, I'm in agony, here. Upsetting the kids??? And I'm not upset??? Sorry, this is my 1st post. Tomorrow might be better. Oh, how I hope it's better. Tomorrow, I might be able to walk, outside. There has to be others who feel like me!!! "