Top 5 Flare Signs: How My Family Knows

I know when a flare is coming on. I’ve learned to identify the signs sure as I know my birthday or eye color. My hearing goes all wonky. My arms become so heavy that Sampson himself couldn’t lift them, and things that normally drive me nuts, like toys scattered everywhere, don’t seem so important anymore. But I will tell you this with every certainty in the world- I absolutely hate to utter the words, “I’m having a flare.” Admitting the words out loud for some reason is tantamount to admitting some sort of defeat.

"I'm having a flare."

I’m not sure why simply saying the words should make any difference at all, but to me, it does. So then, how else can my family, those lovely people that live with me, identify sure signs that they have entered Flare-Land? Here are my top 5 signs that tell everyone else that things won’t be pretty for a while.

  1. Develop cloistered, vampire-like habits-This one is interesting as I tend to love the sun shining on my face. I love feeling the warmth touch my skin and the breeze in my hair. Well, once Flare-Land hits, the curtains are drawn, the lights are out, and don’t you dare touch my hair. Don’t speak to me about the beautiful day ahead or the lovely sunshine. Better yet, don’t talk to me at all, I might just bite you.
  2. Regular scheduled hygiene takes a hiatus- This is not fun or pleasant for anyone really, but it is a simple fact. The pain and energy it takes to simply show puts that totally off the radar. Yes, I may take a bath, but that is totally epsom salt and designed to ease the aches and pains, not cleanse any germs or funky odors. My face goes without moisturizer or my beloved wrinkle cream. Nails remain chipped and hair appointments get canceled. When that happens, you know it is serious business.
  3. Netflix runs on a continuous loop- Yes, Netflix, I am STILL watching! Now stop asking me! All of the shows on my Watchlist are caught up and every season has been ticked off. I’m messaging friends asking for suggestions. Scrolling through the “You might also like” list like a boss. Sure, reading a book or magazine is also useful distractions from the pain, but Netflix always ends up winning.
  4. The credit card takes a mighty hit- What better to do when you are feeling terrible than to go shopping online for things that make you feel better? A bit of retail therapy if you will. When Flare-Land hits hard, I head to the online sales racks with a vengeance.
  5. June Cleaver becomes the Bride of Satan- This one is courtesy of my sweet hubby. I haven’t really noticed, but to him, it is one of those First Warning Signs. In “normal Mom mode”, I tend to be pretty patient and sweet with my darling trio of kiddos, but when I enter Flare-Land patience goes out the window. I am quicker to snap at them and in a tone that I’m not proud of. It isn’t pretty. In fact, it is one of the things that bothers me the most, even more so than the actual pain and fatigue that comes with a flare. Snippy, snarky, and even snide could all be used to describe the Bride of Satan that takes over as the mayor of Flare-Land.

It's helpful to know my flare signs

Sure, living in Flare-Land is difficult for me, but I also believe that it can be even more difficult for those that I love. Not only do they have to see me in pain, but they have to put up with the seemingly “other person” that I become.  I can’t even imagine how difficult it must be for them to see me that way. At least we are getting into a routine and they are learning the top 5 flare signs and know what to expect.

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