If I Was A Tortoise With Psoriatic Arthritis?
What would my life look like if I was a tortoise with psoriatic arthritis? This is a story where my imagination has to really come into play. As children, we fantasize about so many different things; we can be anything we want. I don’t think as we become adults and become sick with a chronic disease that we ever think of what creature we can identify with. There are days when I am at a low place and my mind will drift and just for a few precious moments, wonder “what if?”
Weather wouldn’t bother me
What if I was a tortoise with psoriatic arthritis and psoriasis? I would imagine myself living in the desert. The climate would be extremely hot. The air very dry and this would be good for my psoriasis along with the PsA. I would spend my days basking in the sun. My shell would protect me from all elements. I would never worry about the weather, I would never rush, always move slow, just creeping about. My body would be saying, thank you!!
I’d have more self-confidence
I hear someone across the way, but I’m not worried, you can’t come into my world and shattered my self-confidence or my self-esteem through my shell. I haven’t had self-confidence my whole life. I don’t need friends. I’m strong. I used to miss time from school because of doctor appointments and just being plain tired. I also wouldn’t feel bad from failing every drug I have been on since having this disease. I am still happy because my shell is protecting me.
I’d be strong
If I was a tortoise with this disease, I would most likely live to be over a 100 years old. My legs would be strong, and I could climb up and down hills very easily all day long. I wouldn’t have to deal with the seasons of winter, spring, summer, and fall. I would just be in a hot climate all year.
I can see myself now, covering up my body with my shell so that no one could even detect my psoriasis. I would flex my strong legs, and they wouldn’t know about my psoriatic arthritis. I would eat from the earth and just do what tortoise do.
I wouldn’t need a caregiver
I have flared up so badly over the years where my husband had to be my caregiver. There was a point in my life where I couldn’t take a bath by myself or go to the bathroom. My family tried to understand what I went through, but they didn’t get it. They could only imagine what I’m going through. My friends stopped coming to see me, but if I was a tortoise, I could hide in my shell. It’d be safe in there.
I would take my time
I believe that sometimes when we have a chronic condition it’s fun to use our imagination and just think “what if”? Every day in the world I know, people are in such a hurry. They rush to the doctors, the store, to work, meetings, etc. Wouldn’t it be sweet to be like the tortoise moving very slow, taking your good old time?
The longer I live with psoriatic arthritis and my symptoms continually manifesting, I will be like Mr. Tortoise, and take my time to get things done. It’s a big deal for us who have psoriatic arthritis. We need plenty of rest and relaxation and sometimes slow motion is necessary. My joints have a mind of their own. I know when I first get up out of the bed, I must take it easy and not rush.
Yes, if would be nice to have a hard shell to protect my fragile skin and my feelings, but unfortunately it’s not possible. Just remember there is someone out there going through the same thing as you. As I’ve said a million times, you are not alone in this journey.
Sometimes it’s fun to use your imagination
I’ve come to the realization that we shouldn’t take life so serious, use your imagination sometimes and have a little fun. Yes, there are days that you will feel cornered, but there are better days to come. It won’t be easy. Find someone who understands what you are going though. As for me, I have had psoriatic arthritis for 25 years, but didn’t get diagnose until 10 years ago and psoriasis for 55 years, I give myself permission to say “what if?”.